


The Blessed

by alees_sa



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Steve Rogers, Sweet Steve Rogers, but is also not a natural fighter, female oc has powers, mystic arts, not completely canon compliant but nothing too (hopefully) wild, she just wants to help sometimes ok, will go until Infinity War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-04 04:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17298164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alees_sa/pseuds/alees_sa
Summary: “I’m Captain America.”“I know.”He looked stunned to hear that. I had a feeling it wasn’t supposed to go this way.“Oh, I’m sorry. Shall I pretend to not know? We can do it again.”---Steve Rogers witnesses a miracle. Portia Coo can't seem to stay away.





	1. Prologue i

**Author's Note:**

> I am a hoe for OC fics. This is really written more for myself than anything, but I thought it would be good to get some feedback. Timelines and some aspects of the Mystic World won't stay true to canon.
> 
> (I may or may not have been inspired by Crazy Rich Asians while creating my OC <3 I love me some Asian representation)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Among the Almighty Agamotto’s pupils, three excellent students set themselves apart from all the rest. We know their names were Khe, Kho, and Khu. The three brothers had such a deep connection to their Mystic Spirits that even Agamotto himself did not expect it. Their magic coursed through every single cell in their bodies, and the brothers were able to feel all the energies working within them. This awareness allowed the brothers to perform spells with mastery and ease no other worthy human was capable of. Agamotto was very pleased.

A long time ago, when the Mystical World and the Human World were still but one World, the Great Sorcerer Agamotto descended onto Earth to teach the humans the ways of the Mystic Arts. The mysterious, mystical, and almighty being taught the worthy humans how to defend themselves against the Entities They Know Not. The sorcerers learned how to tiptoe their way through the Mirror Verse. They learned how to unlock their individual Mystic Spirits. They opened their minds to the Unseen. Agamotto gave the worthy humans the chance to defend Earth from threats that a simple human could never hope to comprehend.

Among the Almighty Agamotto’s pupils, three excellent students set themselves apart from all the rest. We know their names were Khe, Kho, and Khu. The three brothers had such a deep connection to their Mystic Spirits that even Agamotto himself did not expect it. Their magic coursed through every single cell in their bodies, and the brothers were able to feel all the energies working within them. This awareness allowed the brothers to perform spells with mastery and ease no other worthy human was capable of. Agamotto was very pleased.

As a reward for their brilliance, Agamotto bestowed Blessings upon the three brothers. To Khe was the Master Blessing – for he possessed the deepest and most enlightened knowledge of the Mystic Arts. To Kho was the Warrior Blessing – for he possessed an unmatchable and unshakeable spirit on the battlefield. And finally, to Khu, was the Healer Blessing – for he possessed the most sympathetic and caring heart among the three brothers. These Blessings allowed the brothers to practice the Mystic Arts with almost unlimited boundaries – their abilities reached heights thought impossible. The brothers transcended the natural laws and laughed at the face of physics. They were the most powerful human sorcerers ever known.

The effects of the Blessing were passed down to each of their descendants. Descendants of the three brothers are called the Blessed. Every Blessed sorcerer possesses enhanced abilities. They also live longer lives. The more Blessed an individual’s bloodline is, the more powerful his mystical powers. However, no descendant has ever matched the prowess of the original brothers.

Upon the death of each brother, the original Blessing was reborn in a descendant. The Holders of the original Blessing were the most powerful among the Blessed. After the death of a Holder, the original Blessing would be passed on to another descendant in the bloodline. For as long as the bloodline existed, there would always be exactly one Holder alive.

Other sorcerers of the Mystic Arts were envious of the Blessed. Many sought to kill the Blessed sorcerers. The jealous sorcerers believed the powers of those they slaughtered would be transferred to them. They also believed that if they killed an entire bloodline, an original Blessing would be reborn in another sorcerer separate from the Blessed.

The Blessed feared for their lives. The descendants of the original brothers returned to their ancestral lands and integrated with the non-mystical human society. The Blessed kept low profiles. The Blessed never held Sanctums. There was never a Blessed Supreme Sorcerer. Over time, many practitioners of the Mystic Arts believed that the Blessed were merely legend.

Still, many disillusioned sorcerers search for anyone with a drop of Blessed blood in the hopes of taking their almighty magic. Because of this, the Khe family was extinguished during the Second World War. The Master Blessing has never resurfaced.

                                                           


	2. Prologue ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve was beginning to get real tired of surprises.

Steve was beginning to get real tired of surprises.

But the sight before him was truly nothing like he had ever seen.

A woman stood before the St. Lorenzo’s Orphanage – her palms were raised and stretched out before her. Her eyes were shut tightly in concentration.

When Steve had first seen the ruins of the orphanage earlier this morning, he felt true devastation pierce his chest for what had to be the millionth time since the Chitauri attack. Maybe it was all the events piling one over the other, but the sight of the destroyed sanctuary made his eyes sting. For days he had felt nothing but grief and exhaustion. The idea that there were orphan kids who were newly homeless because of the attack awakened more emotions within the Captain. He had no way of knowing if the kids inside escaped before the building was blasted to bits. And if they did, where would they go?

Steve knew the world hadn’t changed very much in the past seventy years. The glamour of the latest technology and fast pace of life couldn’t hide how humans never really changed. The orphans would not be on top of New York’s list of priorities. If they survived the trauma of the Chitauri attack, they would have to make it through months of being on the edge and in constant uncertainty for their future. It made Steve seethe with anger.

The pile of rocks that was once the orphanage began to rumble. Steve blinked, believing for a moment that he was just seeing things. Then in one smooth motion, all of the broken cement rose and began to piece themselves back together.

It was the woman’s doing, Steve was sure. He couldn’t decide if he should focus on her form - trembling with the force of her actions - or at the orphanage that was slowly rebuilding itself.

There were beads of sweat slipping from her temple, and the bridge of her nose was crinkled. The woman was tiny – her head would barely come up to the top of Steve’s shoulders. He wondered how someone like her could put a building back together in a matter of minutes. It would have taken an entire construction team weeks to finish the job.

The building looked as good as new. The woman released her hands and swayed in the aftermath. She dropped to her knees and began breathing heavily. Steve would have been able to hear it from a mile away. She turned her face and Steve was able to make out her features. He knew he would never forget her ink black hair with the stray braids, her slanted eyes, and her full and rosy cheeks.

He had to go to her.

Steve was about to take a step forward when she suddenly ceased panting and raised her arms again. He stopped moving to watch what else she was about to do.

This time, the woman made a circular gesture with her fingers. A portal – not unlike the one that allowed the Chitauri to descend on New York – appeared and Steve nearly yelped in surprise. When he took a good look at it, he realized he was mistaken. It was far smaller than the Chitauri portal and a golden (not icy blue) glow surrounded it. The woman reached her hand through the portal and pulled out what looked like to be a small and thin card. With a wave of her hand, she closed the portal. The woman set the card on the windowsill of the newly-repaired orphanage.

When she was finished, she opened a new portal – this one big enough to fit an entire person through. She stepped in and disappeared completely.

Steve approached the building slowly as if afraid the woman can open a portal and drop on him at any second. He picked up the cream-colored card the woman left behind. He scanned through its contents:

_To St. Lorenzo’s Orphanage,_

_May we continue to stand strong in the face of adversity. They can bring down our buildings, but they will not bring down our New Yorker spirits._

_We wish you a bright future. Find safety in your home. Find love in the community that supports you._

Steve flipped the card. There was a single line of text:

_Coo & Co. Charities _


	3. I - 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The way I acted has been bothering me ever since. I heeded my family’s warnings my entire life and now they were all dead. The way Steve spoke to me raised all the alarm bells in my mind. There was just _something_ about him that made me feel…
> 
> Safe? But that didn’t sound right.

_May 21, 2012_

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for finding time in your busy schedules to make it here today.” Chastity addressed the crowd gathered at the curb. She was laying the British accent she picked up from Oxford quite thickly. According to her, it was a power move.

There were representatives from various city government offices and other private institutions. It wasn’t every day a large stretch of sprawling, open land went on sale in the city, even after a destructive event like the Chitauri attack. Everyone who was anyone in the city knew this was prime property – a sale like this wasn’t bound to happen for another fifty years. Suited and opulently dressed men and women standing side by side with charred remains of the historic houses along Lexington Avenue was the most New York-Post-Chitauri-Attack-esque sight to behold.

“My name is Chastity Ong, and I am the Chief Executive Officer of Coo & Co. You may be wondering what the hell the CEO of a multinational is doing selling you a brownstone,” a round of laughter erupted through the crowd. “For the information of all - the Young West Mansion and its grounds belong to the same family that founded Coo & Co. Recent events in the city have turned the tables everywhere, including within the company. It has been decided by the Chairwoman that this property will go on sale as it will no longer be productive for the future endeavors of Coo & Co.”

Murmurs sounded through the crowd. I observed as business leaders contrived pre-emptive plans in their heads and EAs furiously scribbled their boss’ words into their notepads. A number of attendees pulled out their phones and spoke into them in low tones.

Chastity used her infamous deadpan stare to claim back the group’s attention.

“I believe it is important to let all of you know that it is the Chairwoman who has the final say in who the property is granted to. She will not base her choice on the money offered – rather, she will choose based on the intended purpose of the buyer.”

I would like a museum. Maybe a park?

“And may we know who this mysterious Chairwoman is?” a man in front sneered. It took me a moment to recognize him as a representative from the Osborns. 

For a second, Chastity’s eyes subtly met mine. But it was Imogen Flint, Chastity’s right-hand woman, who answered the man’s question.

“The same Chairwoman responsible for the move to purchase 20% of your company’s stocks, Mr. Stromm.” The snide remark didn’t go amiss within the group, rousing up a few laughs at the expense of Oscorp. Chastity and Imogen refused to allow anyone else to dominate their show.

“Excuse me,” My scrutiny was interrupted when a lady with pinned hair and in high heels approached me. “Are you the PA in charge of the coffee orders?”

A part of me rued my habit of hanging in the background. Or maybe I could have dressed a little better?

“Oh, that’s not me, I’m so sorry.” I apologized.

The lady seemed to huff at me before strolling away. I hoped she would find what she was looking for. New York bosses were notorious for being utter pains. I hope my own reputation was kinder.  

“The Young West Mansion was constructed in the early 20th century, ordered by an affluent East Asian family. Before it was even considered fashionable, this family sent their children to America to obtain an education. In total, the Young West Mansion grounds amount to two acres – far larger than the Carnegie Mansion. The last family to reside here were the Tius of Tiu Banking and Tiu Thermal. Unfortunately, most of the family was lost to The Incident. If you’ll follow me, I’ll be giving a tour – but a large part of it will have to come from your imagination.”

I tuned out the rest of Chastity’s words as I sluggishly followed the crowd. I didn’t need to hear them to imagine. The Young West Mansion had been the home I shared with my cousins for the past four years. It was a charming three-story building that combined Swiss and Oriental architecture. My room was on the third floor and it was connected to a terrace overlooking the garden. The garden was like a forest in the middle of the city. There were topiaries, fountains, and the most gorgeous bonsais. I could close my eyes and picture the rest – the little duck pond Victoria was so fond of, the pool and adjoining pool house I spent many summers in, the grand ballroom that was more like a mini museum, the cozy kitchen that always smelled of pancakes, and the high-ceiling library that also housed all of _yí l_ _ǎ_ _o lao’s_ jewels.

It’s been weeks and the pain still stung like an extremely bad case of a sore throat, the sort that made your eyes spring with tears.

It was made worse by knowing the truth of it all. The street wasn’t decimated because of the Chitauri attack. It was just a convenient cover story. Knowing everything and being unable to tell anyone amplified the pain.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I accidentally ran into what felt like a solid wall. But it was a person. And he was staring at me with an odd look. He had shining baby blue eyes and otherworldly, chiseled features. His blonde hair was styled neatly and he held himself awkwardly as if his body was too big for him in this situation.

Almighty Agamotto, I had just bumped into _Captain America_! What was he even doing in my house tour?!

I scrunched my expression of shock into one of apology. “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t notice you there. Too busy contemplating the headless ostrich bush I think.”

The Captain turned his gaze to the topiary, and I hoped he found its headlessness thought-provoking.

“How did you know it was an ostrich?”

What did he just…what?

“I beg your pardon, sir?”

He looked at me again with those striking eyes of his. “The bush. How did you know it was an ostrich? Could have been a flamingo.”

Oh Ancient One, was he just as flustered as I was? Why would he be? He’s Captain _frickin’_ America and I’m the Chairwoman who looks like this month’s stuttering intern!

He was still waiting for an answer.

“I, uh, I’ve been here…before all this.”

“Did you live here?”

Was it even possible to lie to a man like Captain America? The Star-Spangled Man with a Plan? Defender of Justice? Protector of freedom? Pledger of allegiance to the flagger?

“I did.” Okay, the answer is probably no.

His gaze turned sympathetic. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say.”

Captain America continued the conversation “Have you lived in New York long?”

“Just a few years.”

“Still, it must be painful to see the entire city like this.” He looked away from me this time. I had the feeling he wasn’t just talking about me.

“Definitely.” I agreed.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head, seemingly bringing himself out of his own mind. He held out his large hand to me. “I’m Steve Rogers.”

I shook his hand gingerly. “I’m Portia.”

He pulled his hand back and continued to walk alongside me. He probably wasn’t even listening to Chastity go on about the vintage value of some of the structures that remained intact.  

“Is it true what Ms. Ong said? All of your family…?” Steve trailed off, but it was easy to figure out what he was trying to say.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“I hope you fared better, Mr. Rogers,” I said before he could ask me anything else.

He smiled at me. “It’s just Steve.”

“Just Steve, then.”

He took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a moment. “We lost a few good people.”

I hoped it wasn’t any of the Avengers. Or did you have to survive the battle to actually be considered one?

“Your memory of them will keep their hopes and dreams alive.” I offered. It was what yí lǎo lao said to me four years ago. Back then, I lost many loved ones too.

“Thank you, Miss Portia.”

“If it’s just Steve, then it’s just Portia.”

“Alright,” he chuckled. “Thank you, Portia.”

I thought the conversation would end there.

“Portia,” Steve called out to me, softly touching my arm so that we would pause walking. The crowd drifted on without us, and Steve continued to look at me with those damn eyes of his.

Before I could question him, he continued.

“Maybe no one’s said this to you just yet,” he began. “Portia Coo, allow me to thank you for what you did for the St. Lorenzo’s orphanage. I passed by last week. The kids are overjoyed.”

How could…it was impossible…nobody was…

“I’m sorry,” Steve said at my wide-eyed look. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. It was just Steve – Steve and my mistake. “Portia, I’m sorry if I overstepped. I just saw the card, did a little research…it was a complete coincidence that my…my company…sent me here today. I’m sorry.”

Right. The card. 

“Oh, I see.” Truthfully, it was as if I still couldn’t.   

“Thank you,” Steve said again. I needed him to stop looking at me like that. Like he actually _sees_ ─

“Of course. I’m sorry, Mr. Rogers, I─I just remembered…I need to be, there, in the ─ I need to go. I hope you enjoy the grounds tour. Goodbye, Mr. Rogers.”

I sped off as fast as my heels could take it. I portaled away the moment I was _certain_ I was out of sight.

 

* * *

 

 

_August 20, 2012_

 

The Chelsea townhouse was no mansion, but it was still a stunning sight to behold. The interior was done in a modern style – making use of white, gray, and black tones. The entry room was spacious, and the living room looked cozy with the fireplace. The kitchen and dining areas looked impressive, and I was sure that I would be just as satisfied once I took a look upstairs.

“You did a lovely job, Jing. I’m so amazed. I can’t thank you enough,” I said as I turned to the trusted Kewchoo Estate housekeeper. Jing has been with the family for as long as I can remember. She kept things running in the main estate, but also managed the other Coo family properties. Without her and the rest of the staff, I would be completely lost.

“You’re more than welcome, Mistress Portia. I expect Miss Wendeline will be ready to move here before the end of the year.”

“That’s just enough time for me to get all the wards ready and running,” I said.

Jing’s face pinched and I immediately knew what was coming. “I’m sorry, Mistress, but I must reiterate that─”

“Jing,” I interrupted her, and the older woman immediately quieted. “We’ve been through this. I do not doubt the capability of the Kewchoo’s staff to protect us, but I still don’t want to take any risks. Everybody knows our last stronghold is in Hong Kong, that’s where they expect us to go. They won’t expect us to remain in New York. I had the head office move here as well. This is where I need to be right now.”

“I want you to know that I don’t agree with you, Mistress.”

I smiled at her fondly. “Thank you, Jing. I know you want what’s good for us.”

“I want what’s _best_ for you!”

“And this is for the best, Jing. I promise to visit Kewchoo often.”

Jing sniffed but ultimately nodded her approval.

“Let’s begin with the portals.”

The housekeeper led me to the second floor. We entered the room at the end of the hall. It was darkened save for the glowing rocks at the center. They were aptly named Portal Rocks. Even the Sanctums had them for instant connections to Kamar Taj and the other Sanctums.

I stepped inside and chose a rock from the pile. In a motion that greatly resembled opening up any other regular portal, I swished my hands above the rock and focused on the image of the Kewchoo Estate. The Sling Ring on my left hand was a family heirloom. It twinkled brightly in the dark room.

Soon, the portal was forming out of the energy of the Portal Rock. It took a few seconds before the portal stabilized and presented a view of my ancestral home.

“You will have to give this house a name, Mistress.”

I smiled at Jing’s reminder. It was as if my family’s traditions came straight out of an Austen book. Our homes were always named like proper destinations. Kewchoo Estate, Young West Mansion, Ming Xiao Villa. What to choose for this home?

“We’ll call this the Rosamund House.”

Jing gave me a sad smile, recognizing the namesake. “Very good, Mistress.”

Before taking her leave, Jing opened a small portal and placed her hand in. When it resurfaced, a familiar cigarette packet was in her hands. My face immediately scrunched up into a grimace. How had she found the hiding place this time?

“If you will not be returning to the estate with me, I will be taking this, Mistress.”

She said her goodbyes and I patted her shoulder, as was my usual practice with close friends. Jing stepped through the portal, returning to her daily responsibilities at the Kewchoo Estate. I locked up the portal and the rest of the house before stepping out.

The Young West grounds were transformed into the May Memorial Park, in honor of the Battle of New York. A few of the structures that survived the destruction were preserved and told the history of the mansion that once stood there. I heard it was New York’s latest booming tourist spot. It’s been up since Independence Day, but today would mark my first visit.

Portaling there wasn’t a good idea with the volume of tourists sure to be in the area. New York was bound to spend more than a hundred billion dollars in repairs. Already, just three months since the attack, the city was beginning to look like itself again. New York was like the center of the world, of course a ton of effort was focused on rebuilding. I took my car to the memorial park and found I was right about the crowd.

The park was expansive and artfully done. They kept the rose bushes and the duck pond. It was a bit of a laugh seeing strangers posing with the beat-up walls of my former home. People paid their respects at a monument erected at the center of the park, where the biggest fountain used to be. It was done in the image of the Statue of Liberty stomping on a giant Chitauri ship. (Personally, I found it a little funny, but people were treating it all very solemnly).

It was strange seeing the place like this. It would always be the Young West Mansion to me. I could tell this place was meaningful to the visitors, though. Plenty of people lost loved ones in the Battle of New York. The event also opened the world to the age of superheroes. Even the realm of Mystic Arts was shaken up at Earth’s first encounter with aliens.

To walk the entire length of the park would probably take up an entire afternoon. I was content to do just that when I spotted a familiar figure.

“Mr. Rogers?”

The Captain’s head shot up, and he had a surprised expression on his face when his eyes met mine. I was a bit surprised at myself for speaking up at all.

I had put a lot of thought in our last conversation. It was very likely he saw me repairing the orphanage, but as there were no agents watching me (well, as far as I knew anyway), it was also likely that he kept what he saw to himself. That meant he wasn’t the type of person my family spent years warning me about. Possibly, I could even grow to trust him. Steve was never seeking my magic – he certainly didn’t need to. He spoke to me, a stranger, out of concern and I retreated into myself, fearful of what he could want. The way I acted has been bothering me ever since. I heeded my family’s warnings my entire life and now they were all dead. The way Steve spoke to me raised all the alarm bells in my mind. There was just _something_ about him that made me feel…

Safe? But that didn’t sound right.

“It’s just Steve, Ms. Coo. Hello,” he stood. “It’s good to see you again.”

Both of us were probably remembering the sour end to our last conversation three months ago.

“And it’s just Portia. It’s nice to see you.” I hesitated for a moment, before pushing on. “I am incredibly sorry for the way I spoke to you last time. It was very rude of me to leave you like that.”

“No, no,” Steve shook his head. “If anything, it’s my fault. I was pushing. I’m sorry.”

“I guess we’ll both have to be sorry then.” I considered it a victory when his lips split into a smile.

I didn’t know what made me feel this way, but I wanted to keep talking to him. Was it leftover guilt from last time? Was I seeking the same “safe” feeling from before? Could it be Steve himself drawing me in?

Again, I pushed on.

“How are you today? Doing well I hope?”

“Uh…,” he floundered as if he wasn’t expecting the question. “Better. And you?”

“I’m a little tired,” I admitted. “I had a long morning.”

He immediately gestured for me to take a seat on the bench I had found him in. Before I knew it, we were sitting side by side with a perfect view of the visitors milling around the park. I glanced to the side and saw a sketchbook. Steve had been drawing before I called out to him.

“May I see?” I asked, gesturing to the sketchbook.

The Captain looked a little apprehensive about it. Before I was able to take back my question, he handed me the sketchbook.

Steve watched as I skimmed through his work. The book opened at his current piece – he had been sketching the lone old lady sitting in the bench across ours. She was still there now, staring pensively at the silly monument. I flipped back a few pages and found Steve’s own funny renditions of the same monument.

He gave me a sheepish smile when I pointed it out. “You have to admit, it’s a little ridiculous.”

“Oh, I completely agree.”

His other sketches were of the rose bushes and the dogs being walked around the park. I ended my perusal at a work featuring the headless ostrich topiary.

I bit back a smile as Steve looked visibly embarrassed.

“This isn’t here anymore,” I pointed out.

“I know…I just remembered it.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck in an endearing motion.

“I’m glad not to be the only one.”

I returned the sketchbook and asked how he had been spending the past months. Steve answered vaguely and I didn’t press. I knew my answers would sound the same when he asked. I asked if he had visited the park before, and Steve said he’d been a few times already. It surprised him to learn that today was my first visit. We talked about the ongoing repair efforts around the city. I mentioned a few restaurants I was hoping would open up again soon, and Steve told me about a shawarma place downtown. I asked if he already had the chance to visit the Met and the Guggenheim since he was an artist, but the Captain admitted he had yet to do so. We talked about other places we would like to visit and wondered what sort of person came up with the park’s center monument. I talked about my new home and told Steve about Ikea. He talked about hoping to find a place in Brooklyn, or at least an open boxing gym.

Our conversation flowed easily. The awkwardness from the beginning was gone and before I knew it the sun was setting. We spoke of small things, shallow things if one really thought about it. Talking with Steve was relaxing. The safe feeling from before returned in full force. I realized it wouldn’t matter if we talked about the weather or the aliens’ motives for invading. The feeling was all Steve.

“Oh Aga─ _gosh_ , it’s been hours,” I said when we finally noticed. The old lady on the bench across us was gone, replaced by a young woman looking intently into her phone. “I hardly noticed the time passing.”

“Me neither. I hope I wasn’t keeping you.” Steve said.

“Not at all,” I shook my head. “It’s just that…I can’t remember the last time I talked to someone like that for so long.”

“Same here,” Steve said, grinning at me.

“It was lovely. Thank you.” I said. I stood up and stretched, and Steve did the same.

“I really should get going, though,” I said as I shot a quick look to my watch. 6:04 pm. “It’s getting a little late.”

“Do you need help getting home?”

“I’m alright, thank you. I have a car – can I give you a ride anywhere?”

Steve shook his head. “I’m trying to learn the subway. Things are changing.”

I laughed. “Oh, for sure. Well, this is goodbye for now.”

“Goodbye for now,” Steve said with a smile.

“I’ll see you around, Steve,” I said, simultaneously reaching out to pat his shoulder. Instinctively, I shot a little boosting magic through his system. It was barely perceptible unless you were looking out for it, really. Nothing in Steve’s expression indicated he felt anything at all. It was the way I said goodbye to all my friends.

It’s rather brilliant to think I can Captain America my friend.

 

* * *

 

 

_August 31, 2012_

 

The next time I saw Steve was at the end of the same month, seated on the same bench.

He heard me coming this time. He looked up at me as I approached. Steve looked different. There were dark circles under his eyes, and the way his shoulders slumped showed something was off.

I had no idea what he was going through, but I wasn’t feeling the best myself as well. I came straight to the park after my meeting with my _l_ _ǎ_ _o lao_ Lowella Tiu. It had been years since she moved away from the Young West Mansion – after a falling out between her and Grandpapa Walterson Tiu. She wasn’t around during the battle so her life was spared. She wasted no time claiming her cut of the Tiu money. If it weren’t for the family lawyers Charlton Que and Agnes, lǎo lao could have swiped the entire fortune right from under my nose.

I didn’t grow up wanting to take over the family business. I didn’t believe I had the will to manage it all, and mostly acted as ghost chairman. If Chastity wanted to take over, it probably wouldn’t be too hard. I had to be thankful for her loyalty to my father’s memory and to me.

Lǎo lao was another story. She wasn’t ashamed to share how she was planning her upcoming wedding with Williamson Shang, my _gū fu_. (The mere thought of it made me shudder.) He was the same man who teamed up with my _gū yé_ four years ago to try to take the chairman position from me. It was my birthright, but he didn’t believe I deserved it. Lǎo lao was just waiting for grandpapa to die before she made her affair with another man known. It was deeply devastating to me. Even in death, would my family know no peace?

“Come sit down, Portia.” Steve invited.

We spent another afternoon talking about everything and nothing. Neither of us mentioned what was bothering us. A conversation detached from the reality of our lives seemed like something we both needed.

As I was about to leave, I patted his shoulder once more, giving my customary magic boost. He looked up at that, and our eyes met. Could he have felt it?

“Goodbye for now, Porsh.”

I shook my head and smiled as I walked away. Lovely. A nickname.

 

* * *

 

 

_September 28, 2012_

 

Over the next month, I visited May Memorial Park multiple times. Very often I would find Steve there, sketching or just relaxing, and we would talk the afternoon away like always. There were times when I spent the day on my own in the park, and it didn’t bother me at all. We both had our own lives. I couldn’t expect Steve to be waiting at the bench every single time I arrived. Still, I remained _._ He may not be around all the time, but the feeling never quite left. One time, Steve confided that he felt the same way. Even when I wasn’t around he remained to soak in the feeling. The bench was easily becoming my favorite safety blanket. In my head, it’s already _our_ bench. (Unless there’s bird poop then the next clear bench to the right is our bench.)

On an afternoon like any other, Steve finally said it.

“I’m Captain America.”

“I know.”

He looked stunned to hear that. I had a feeling it wasn’t supposed to go this way.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Shall I pretend to not know? We can do it again.” I looked at him with wide eyes, worried that he would be disappointed.

“No, no…Portia,” Steve shook his head and let out a strained laugh. His head was in his hands and I was starting to get concerned. As subtly as possible, I waved my hand at him and used magic to take a look at his vitals. Everything seemed to be in order – only his heart was beating a little quicker than normal. Was it a Captain America thing?

“How long have you known?”

“Since I first met you,” I answered slowly, fearful for how he might react.

“And you didn’t say _anything_?”

“It didn’t really seem important, honestly.”

Steve smiled at that. “Good to know.”

“Besides, Steve, you’re not the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Gee, you really know how to make a fella feel good.”

“Sorry!”

“Forget it,” Steve waved it off. “I saw you, you know. When you fixed that orphanage.”

“I thought you had,” I admitted, the fear creeping back in.

Surely, he had questions. Then he would ask for something. I would have to disappear and start over. I would lose everything I’ve built with him. No more safety blanket.

But what if…

What if I refused to let this go? 

“It was like seeing a miracle. You are probably the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” Steve said sincerely.

I looked at him, _really_ looked him. He had an earnest look in his eyes as if he was willing me to understand something. I was waiting for it, the catch. But it never came.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve gotta respond when someone tells you something like that, Porsh.”

“Oh!” I squeaked. “Thank you.”

Steve laughed and I joined after a few seconds. The entire conversation was unbelievable. And even better, the safety blanket remained intact, stronger than ever.

“You’re in love with him.” Susan Ching declared later that night during our weekly phone call. She was my closest friend, we met each other when we both 13 and making fools of ourselves in Kamar Taj. Maybe it was time to reconsider just how much I told her about how I spent my days.

“Don’t be silly, Suze. Besides, I’ve only known him for what? 2 months!”

“Wrong! You met him in May. That’s five months.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Didn’t you tell me you’ve been repeating your first conversation with him over and over until you finally met him again?”

“Yeah, well─”

“See, in love. I called it.”

“You sound like you’re fifteen and not twenty-six.”

“And you’re acting like you’re ninety and senile, not twenty-six and a fool in love. Open your eyes, Porky! You’re in love with him!”

 

* * *

 

 

_October 7, 2012_

 

“I’ll walk you home tonight,” Steve said as he got up with me.

“Oh, it’s fine! There’s no need.”

“Portia, it’s nearly eight P.M. You told me you didn’t take your car here today.”

“You really don’t have to─”

“I really do. Just do it for me, Portia. Please?”

Damn those eyes of his.

Tonight was our first time anywhere that wasn’t the memorial park. Home was a few stops away on the Q line. I couldn’t help but laugh at the way Steve fumbled with his Metrocard. He shot me a faux stern look and I made a motion of zipping my lips.

I had to tell him three times that the train arriving _wasn’t_ the Q train.

“Didn’t you say you were learning the subway?”

“I am. I know the exact route from my apartment to the park. I also know the exact route from my apartment to my workplace.”

“Well, commit the route from the park to my place to memory and you’ll be the No. 1 Subway Expert.”

“You’re terrible at teasing, Porsh. Don’t even try.”

“I wonder what the whole country would think if they knew Captain America was such a _meanie_.” I hissed at him. Steve laughed the rest of the ride to my station.

It was still a five-minute walk from the station to the Rosamund House, and Steve eyed the poorly-lit streets warily. I tried to distract him with more chatter.

“Frank Sinatra, Billy Joel, and Michael Bublé. Have those three on repeat and you’re set for life, really.”

“Sinatra, Joel, Bubble,” Steve repeated.

“It’s Bublé. Did you remember all the bands I said earlier?”

“Beatles, I remember. The rest are a little…foggy,” Steve admitted sheepishly.

“Oh, what to do with you, Steve Rogers.” I looked around and spotted the answer to our problems. I wasted no time pulling his hand and dragging him into a convenience store. The sleepy cashier mumbled a greeting and I went for the aisle where they kept the magazines. Sure enough, there was also a small stack of pocket-sized notebooks. I grabbed one and threw in a pen as well. After paying, I ripped the packaging open and started listing all my recommendations.

“Here you go,” I presented to him my finished work. All it really was a list of things I thought he should check out to get caught up with everything he missed while he was in the ice. “See, anytime someone says you should check out something, you just add it to the list. Then strike it out once you’ve Googled it – you do know how to Google right?”

“Sure I do,” Steve huffed. “That’s how I knew who you were.”

“What?”

“The card you left at the orphanage said Coo & Co. Charities. I Googled it, and it took some reading – but eventually, I found out the Chairwoman was named Portia Coo. Don’t worry, there aren’t any pictures of you, but you confirmed it when you told me your name.”

He Googled me. How lovely.

“You’re really unbelievable.”

“Which part is so hard to believe?”

 

* * *

 

 

_October 26, 2012_

 

“Are you busy on the 31st?” I asked, momentarily looking up from my book.

Steve similarly looked up from his sketchpad. He was in the middle of sketching a little girl constructing a flower crown. “No plans. I’m not really the type of person who has a full schedule.”

“Don’t you have super secret missions you can’t tell me about?” I clearly remembered the times I met up with Steve in the park to find him looking despondent. I never directly asked him about it, and he never offered anything beyond how it’s been a busy few days. Really, what else could he be up to?

Steve raised a brow. “Well, if I did, I couldn’t tell you about it.”

“Oh.”

“What’s on the 31st, Porsh?”

“Halloween! It will be my first in the neighborhood. It would be nice if people didn’t think I was some lonely old lady who didn’t have any friends.”

“Hey, I’m an old man who lives alone and doesn’t have any friends.”

“Oh? So what does that make me, then?”

“We’re _best_ friends.” He actually winked at me and I heaved a heavy sigh as he cackled as his apparent joke-forming skills.

“Unbelievable,” I said with a smile.

“Aah! But you’re smiling! That means you found it funny.”

I immediately straightened my lips. “What smile? I’m not smiling.”

“Now you’re the unbelievable one.” He knocked me on the shoulder lightly. “I’ll be sure to bring some candy to give out on the 31st.”

 

* * *

 

 

_October 31, 2012_

 

Steve didn’t show up. I tried not to be too disappointed. Like I said before, we both had our own lives.

After Halloween, I finally put up the ward that hid the house from unexpected seekers.

 

* * *

 

 

_November 6, 2012'_

 

I was making a bit of an effort to not drop by the memorial park these past few days, but after a grueling meeting with each sub-company’s lawyers, my feet delivered me to my safe space without me really thinking about it. Steve spotted me before I could do anything, and he immediately jogged over to where I stood.

I didn’t know what to say. I tried not to hold grudges over small things, but I couldn’t stop the heavy feeling that clouded and clawed at my heart. I hated to admit it, but his no-show struck me even deeper than I ever expected.

Besides, the man looked beat-up. He was sporting a rapidly healing black-eye and his jaw was spotted with light bruises. The dark circles under his eyes were back again and he didn’t take care of his hair this morning as he usually did. Steve looked exhausted.

“The mission went…badly. I’m sorry I missed Halloween,” he apologized immediately.

“Don’t worry about it. Are you alright?” I raised my hand to touch his face but stopped myself mid-way. I was sure Steve suspected many things about me and my abilities. But to show him the extent of my healing? I wasn’t sure if it would be wise.

“I tried finding you at your house, but I couldn’t find my way back there.” It was the wards, of course, but he didn’t need to know that. Not now.

“It’s alright, Steve, I promise,” I said and gently directed him back to our bench. “Let’s sit down. You look exhausted.”

“So do you,” he pointed out and I tried not to let my surprise show. For all the conversations we’ve had these past few months, we never divulged anything about our work lives. We suspected things about the other but always kept it to ourselves. What we had built was wonderful but fragile and based on something so abstract that it could easily break with one misstep. Neither of us wanted to take that risk.

Steve pulled his phone out. It was the first time I’ve seen him handling a piece of modern technology. Of course, he had mentioned that he was well-versed in Googling. He struck me as the type to dedicate himself to learning everything about the present. Of course he would have a phone.

“Would you give me your number? So that anything like this would never happen again. I hate the idea of making you wait. I should have asked for your number before.”

I took the phone from his hand. It was clearly SHIELD issued, and the applications on it were kept to the bare minimum.

“Do your handlers watch your phone?”

Steve looked confused. “What? Can they do something like that?”

“I’m sure you’re very important to them. They wouldn’t let you go running around New York with no one watching, would they?”

Steve took a moment to think about it. A look of conflict flashed in his eyes and he sighed.

“Do you still have that notebook on you?” I asked him.

He nodded and pulled it out of his jacket pocket along with a pen. I scribbled down my number and handed it back.

“Maybe you should think about getting a new phone. You know Tony Stark, right? He’s invented a pretty good phone. Maybe he’ll give you one.”

Steve chuckled. “Yeah, maybe Tony will help. Thanks for this. Are you normally so suspicious of phones?”

I shrugged. “I guess it’s just a habit of mine. My family took care not to leave as little trail as possible, especially online. I studied a bit about it in school.”

“What did you study in university?”

“I had a double major. Biomedical Science and Electronic Engineering.”

“That’s a mouthful. Why did you choose to study them?”

I was quiet for a while. This was the most personal I’ve ever gotten with him. After revealing his identity, Steve told me more about himself. He told me about how he would have wanted to be an artist if he didn’t enlist. He talked about the cars he would have liked to own and the dream house he would have liked to live in after the war. Steve even talked a bit about Peggy Carter with awe and admiration. He admitted that he knew about the elderly home she resided in, but was too afraid to face her. He had this worry about being too late.

I usually did my best to steer our conversations away from my personal life. Steve seemed to pick up on this and we usually talked about him or anything else. It was easy for me to share my opinions on different issues like the legalization of superheroes or the emerging vigilantes, but I didn’t bring up my past or present if I could help it.

I had hoped Steve would continue to give me a free pass once more, but he pushed on. “Come on, Porsh. It’s like you know everything about me. Is it so bad that I want to know a little more about you?”

Everything my family ever taught me screamed _Yes! Yes!_ in response to his question, but I pushed those thoughts away. I was starting to feel a little guilty that I wasn’t giving as much as Steve was. He was right – I’ve learned so much about him over these past few months. Steve probably didn’t even know how old I was.

“I used to dream about creating an all-healing machine that combined the wonders of medicine, technology, and my abilities. I moved to New York so I could go to med school here.”

Steve was listening intently to every word I said. “Used to?”

“I didn’t finish med school,” I started. “Now I just want to make a good home for my cousin and give her a happy childhood. I’m all she has left now. Maybe make my father proud too along the way.”

I dug into my handbag and pulled out my wallet. Inside, there was a picture of Wendeline, Thayas’ little girl. Lately, I’ve been calling her Wendy. I showed the picture to Steve.

“This is Wendy, my cousin’s daughter. She was born on the day of the battle. I adopted her, so she’s like my daughter now. She even calls me mama.” The words were just slipping out. The whole Wendy ordeal was bothering me more than I let on to the staff. “She’s been living in Hong Kong for a while, but my house is finally ready. She’ll be able to move in later this month.”

There was a soft smile on Steve’s face as he gazed at the photo. “It’s great to have something worth fighting for.”

I looked at the Polaroid snap of Wendy as well. I had never imagined becoming a mother, especially at such an early age. There was a lot of hesitation on my part when yí lǎo lao entrusted the baby’s life to me on her deathbed. She said Wendeline had a great destiny ahead of her. Wendy was born on the day an Infinity Gem was used on Earth, it was no mere coincidence. Yí lǎo lao had said she was a Holder of the Blessing. Wendy and I were the last Holders. If anything ever happened to us, the Blessing would disappear just like the Master Blessing did. I immediately passed on her care to the nursemaids Jing hired and stayed away from the Kewchoo house for weeks. One night, however, I heard her crying in her crib and a part of me just knew how to comfort her. Since then I committed to spending more time with her. It was my greatest hope that Wendy would never know the weight of being a Holder. I wanted her to grow up like any normal child. I wanted her to be happy.

“You mentioned your father?” Steve asked.

“He was the best man I ever knew. He passed away four years ago before I moved to the city.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve apologized quickly and changed the subject. He opened his notebook again and showed me the new additions made. Apparently, lots of people liked to tell Steve what movies to watch, what songs to listen to, and what historical moments to read on. A couple of things like Billy Ray Cyrus’ Achy Breaky Heart and The Simpsons made it. He would have a fine time catching up to the 21st Century.

 

* * *

 

 

_December 15, 2012_

 

“You really don’t have to carry everything for me!” I insisted while trying to grab some of my shopping bags from Steve. His tall frame made it easy for him to keep them out of my reach. I cursed the fact that when we stood side by side, the top of my head barely even reached his shoulders.

“You’re not going to win this one, Porsh. Just continue shopping,” Steve said patiently as this was the umpteenth time we had this argument in the past few hours. I dragged Steve out of the park and brought him around the Upper East Side shops for some Christmas shopping. My list was far shorter this year, but having Steve around made it less somber.

“I think the girls will really like the Hermes bag scarves,” I mused as I led him to my next stop. I would be seeing Susan, Amelia, and Tania over the holidays, and I could have Isabel’s and Lacey’s gifts express-shipped to them before Christmas day. Now, what to do about the gentlemen? Cufflinks maybe?

“I certainly hope they do, one costs a heavy buck.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Steve shudder. Back in the shop, he had only raised a brow when I ordered five scarves but I could see the gears turning in his head. Steve only had the sale of the Young West House to base my financial situation on. By the end of this day, I wonder what he would think of me.

“It’s Christmas – it’s certainly not time to economize. Do you think I should get something for the staff this year? Or could the holiday bonus have been enough, hmm,” I thought out loud to myself and Steve just shook his head at me. We stopped by a few more shops where I found presents for the rest of the Kamar Taj Gang, old friends, business partners, and other obligatory recipients. I even picked out a darling dress for Wendy to wear in the New Year, and I was delighted when Steve added in a matching cardigan. I had to remember to introduce the two of them soon.

We took a rest at a little coffee shop where my purchases took up most of the table. Steve and I chatted over steaming mugs of hot chocolate.

“I’ve got one more assignment to go before the end of the year,” Steve said.

“So close to Christmas?”

“I don’t think crime takes a break for the holidays. Neither does Captain America.”

 

* * *

 

 

_December 28, 2012_

 

The first text I ever received from Steve wasn’t a happy one.

I tried not to worry too much when I didn’t hear from him during Christmas. I knew he had a job to do and it wasn’t my place to hover. Still, it was not a good feeling to think about him catching criminals in the icy weather. Well, for all I knew, he was superhero-ing in a tropical place.

_Hurt. Please come._

The text ended with an address.

“Jhem?” I called out. Wendy’s babysitter and the Rosamund House caretaker (handpicked by Jing herself) popped her head out from a room on the second floor.

“Yes, Mistress Portia?”

“There’s an urgent matter I need to attend to. Please take care of Wendy. Watch over the house.” Of course, both of these duties fell to her without saying. It was just polite to let her know I would be gone.

“Of course, Ma’am.”

Steve lived in lower Manhattan. I portaled to the nearest landmark I knew and thanked Agamotto that there weren’t people milling about at this time of the night. A quick check on my phone told me where I needed to go. I was jogging, feeling warm despite the fact that I didn’t even stop to get a coat before stepping out.

I stopped a few meters away from the apartment complex Steve texted. I closed my eyes and folded my fingers a little, finding out what sort of surveillance material there was in the area. With a flick of my fingers, I distorted the street camera view as I ran through. I saw that there was a lot of equipment heavily focused on the 2nd floor of Steve’s building – incidentally the same floor he lived on. I wouldn’t be able to take them out as easily as I did the street cameras.

This time I had my hands do a waving motion over my head for a temporary disillusionment that would allow me to go unnoticed. Hopefully, it worked on the SHIELD equipment. I jogged for Steve’s apartment and took the lack of screeching alarms as a good sign.

I knocked on the door but used magic to unlock it. The room was dark when I stepped inside, but there was light emanating further down the hall. I immediately made my way towards it, my hands flexed and ready in case it wasn’t Steve.

I wish it wasn’t him that I found.

Steve was sitting on the floor of his kitchen, his back against his cabinets. He was pressing a hand against his side, trying to stop a wound from bleeding out. There were several cuts across his face and arms. He was in stealth gear, gone were the stars and stripes. Steve’s lip was bleeding and he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Portia…” he managed.

I immediately slid to the floor and knelt before him. I wasted no time waving my hands and opening his vitals. I found that he also had a concussion. The show of magic seemed to wake him up and he watched as I selected the injured points on his body from the glowing schematic. Without even touching him, the healing process began as I infused good energy into his vitals. It worked faster than it ever had with any other patient. Could it be the Super Soldier serum at work?

The wound at his side was taking longer to heal up so I directed my attention there. I did a circular motion over it and the blood dissolved away, giving me a better view of the wound. It looked to be a deep knife cut and I performed a slicing motion to pull the tissue and skin back together. Steve groaned out, it wasn’t a completely harmless process. I whispered an apology and got to work on the smaller cuts marring the rest of his body. Steve quickly got used to little stings of pain – the serum probably also doubled as some kind of morphine.

After a lot of hand waving and hissing through clenched teeth, I was finished. Steve’s body would still feel a little sore, but he had no more visible injuries. I had never healed anyone this quickly and easily before. It seemed having super blood made one a better patient.

I settled myself next to him on the floor. With another wave of my hand, the mess from the earlier vanished.

“What happened?”

“Mission…” Steve paused as if he expected talking to hurt more. “There were complications.”

“Doesn’t SHIELD have doctors?”

“You know about SHIELD?” Steve questioned me, turning his piercing gaze straight to my eyes.

“Sure,” I tried to shrug it off nonchalantly. “Their building…the land it’s on, they bought it from Coo & Co.”

Steve sighed. “Anything else you know that I should know you know?” I stifled a giggle at the tongue twister.

“I’m good at healing people.”

“No kidding. You sure you aren’t a doctor yet?”

“How did you know to call me? You only knew I could fix buildings.”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed – every time you say goodbye to me you touch my shoulder. Then there’s this…this _energy_ that seems to run through my body. It feels like it’s worth a good night’s sleep. I just took a guess. Thank you for coming.”

“I’ll always come.”

We both fell silent at my sudden declaration.

Eventually, Steve continued. “What else can you do?”

“It’s a little hard to explain.” Telling Steve would mean having to disappear. I didn’t know everything about SHIELD but I knew they made it their business to know things. The Mystic World has managed to stay hidden from them for a hundred years. Giving everything away to Captain America could risk my entire world. I would be risking my life and Wendy’s life.

Still, I felt like I owed Steve something.

“I can do this,” I said and opened a portal. I reached in and pulled out a wrapped package. I offered it to him. “Merry Christmas.”

Steve laughed and opened it slowly, testing out his freshly healed arms. When he finally got the package opened, he smiled at the vintage Polaroid camera. “This is the one that prints the pictures out right away?”

I nodded and he wasted no time testing it out. Before I could react, he focused the camera directly at me and clicked away. A Polaroid printed out and I showed Steve how to cover it so it wouldn’t get exposed. We waited in silence for a few minutes before turning the picture over. I saw myself under harsh white lighting with a tired look on my face.

“I wasn’t able to get you anything.” Steve frowned.

“Your gift for Wendy was more than enough. She likes the cardigan way better than the dress.”

Steve laughed at that and leaned his head back. He may be in perfect health once more, but I was sure he was exhausted.

“I should let you rest. Do you need help getting to your room?”

He shook his head. I decided that it would be okay to leave him like that. He wasn’t in risk of worsening any injuries now that they were all gone.

“I’ll get going, then. Cover up if you’re going out anytime soon, it wouldn’t do for SHIELD to see you healed up so quickly.” I realized he still hasn’t answered why they didn’t patch him up in the first place. “Be careful about what you say and what you do. Even when you’re here at home.”

He opened an eye at that. “Are you saying they’re watching me?”

“Yes.”

I woke up the next day to my second text from Steve.

_You were right._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!!! I'm a little nervous this is my first time posting anything on Ao3 aaaah. 
> 
> Yí lǎo lao - grand aunt (maternal)  
> Lǎo lao - grandmother (maternal)  
> Gū fu - uncle (paternal)  
> Gū yé - grandaunt's husband (paternal) 
> 
> This was really all just laying the foundation for everything. I will update soon yay!


	4. II - 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Good night, Steve,” I whispered, stroking his jaw.
> 
> He stared at me hard, like he was looking into my soul. “Good night, Portia.”
> 
> He caught my lips in a kiss once more and we moved together in a heated moment. When we parted, Steve pressed one last quick peck on my lips before stepping away. Immediately, I felt cold without him against me.

_January 4, 2013_

 

Something changed since that December night.

Steve and I became closer than ever before. We still met at the park but now we also went to museums, restaurants, theatres, galleries, shows, trains, boats, and everything else New York could offer. We explored the city together with new eyes. If our hands intertwined in the middle of it all, then neither of us said a word.

The little things had more meaning. My pats on his shoulder as a goodbye. The way he looked at me. His patience with whatever folly I decided to do for the day. The shared silence when both of us have had a rough time.

It was like we were tip-toeing around each other. Both of us knew there was _something_ there, but neither of us quite knew what to do about it. So we shared it like a secret neither of us knew the words to. There was no denying that something was brewing, but I didn’t know if I had the strength to see it through.

 

* * *

 

 

_February 15, 2013_

 

Steve visited my home for the first time on the day after Valentine’s Day.

I was in my home office when the doorbell rang and I heard Jhem downstairs rushing over to answer it. She was more nervous over Steve’s visit than I was. She’s been up since six in the morning preparing all sorts of food and dusting out the guest room in case he decided to stay the night (I firmly shot down that notion but there was no stopping the housekeeper).

I entered Wendy’s room and found her gripping on the side of her crib with her face pressed on the window as she attempted to see who was at the door.

“Wendy,” I called out and she turned to me, giving me a grin. She dropped to her knees and crawled into my waiting arms. She was getting heavier by the day. “Are you ready to meet our guest?” Even as the girl babbled her answer, I felt like I was asking the question to myself. Was I ready for Steve to discover another part of my life? Magic was one thing, but Wendy was greater. I would die for her. She and I were the last Holders, the last of our kind. There were many things Steve couldn’t begin to understand about us.

I heard Jhem ushering Steve inside. I bounced Wendy in my arms a little then proceeded downstairs. I met Steve’s gaze once I reached the landing, and he met me mid-way.

“I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding the house this time.”

“It was strange – I found it quickly. I don’t know how I could have missed it before,” Steve replied and wore a confused look when Jhem and I burst into laughter. Perhaps I should have felt a little more guilt over how I reacted when he didn’t show for Halloween last year, but the confused look on his face was priceless.

“I’d like you to meet Wendeline Tiu,” I introduced when our laughter finally died out. “My cousin and my daughter. Call her Wendy. Wendy ─ this is Mr. Steve.” Wendy was delighted at being addressed and babbled at Steve, bringing out a smile on his face.

“And this is Jhem, Wendy’s nanny and the housekeeper. Jhem, this is my good friend Steve Rogers.”

Jhem looked simultaneously flustered and starstruck. I had a feeling she didn’t even know about Steve’s super-secret identity, but he was attractive enough even without the uniform. They shook hands before Jhem scurried away to finish off food preparations.

The three of us settled on the couch and Wendy immediately slid off my lap to crawl around. I kept a close eye on her as I chatted with Steve.

“Did you have a good Valentine’s?”

Steve huffed. “Stark decided it would be funny to send strippers to my apartment. SHIELD even let them get past the door.” That sent me into another laughing fit.

 

* * *

 

 

_March 19, 2013_

 

Steve and I took a break from our Brooklyn exploration in an unassuming coffee shop. We ordered our drinks and took a booth by the corner window. Steve sketched while the both of us people-watched.

“Is Brooklyn very different?”

“In some ways,” Steve admitted. He had been in a solemn mood the entire day. Memories were probably assaulting him left and right. It was his idea to tour around his birthplace - I never would have suggested it myself. So many of Steve’s life-defining moments happened here. To return to it and find it so changed must be heartbreaking.

“Thank you for coming with me today,” Steve said.

“Of course – it was my pleasure.”

He smiled at that and returned to his drawing. I leaned back in my seat and watched him. There was still tension about his shoulders, but his face softened. I never saw Steve more relaxed than when he was drawing. Seeing him like this, with his defenses slightly lowered, felt like a privilege. We’ve come a long way since our first meeting in the park.

“Steve?”

We bought looked up at the voice calling Steve’s name. It was a weathered-looking man holding on to a drink in one hand, and a short pile of papers in another. It took me a moment to recognize him, but Steve knew him instantly. I had a feeling we bought knew the man for different reasons.

“Dr. Banner,” Steve greeted, rising from his seat immediately. He walked over to the man and seemed hesitant over how to greet him. Steve settled for a friendly pat on the arm. “How are you?”

“As well as expected,” Dr. Banner answered with a tired smile. “As well as one can be when he’s around Tony Stark 24/7 anyways.”

Steve chuckled. “And how is that going?”

“Good, good, no complaints from me,” the doctor assured him. His gaze shifted towards me and I consciously told myself not to fidget. I shot him a smile which Dr. Banner returned. I was trying to restrain myself internally. Steve was talking to _the_ Dr. Banner!

Our wordless exchange caught Steve’s notice.

“Dr. Banner, this is Portia – a good friend of mine. Portia, this is Dr. Banner – my er, colleague.”

I stood and shook Dr. Banner’s hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you, Dr. Banner.”

“Call me Bruce.” His smile turned nervous as he and he directed a questioning brow at Steve (I could tell he was trying to be subtle about it, but perhaps subtlety was not one of his strong suits).

Steve turned his eyes to me and winked. “Portia recognized me the moment she met me, not that she thought it would be a good idea to say anything. Apparently, I wasn’t very impressive.”

Dr. Banner looked at both of us with an amused expression on his face. “Really?” The way he said it made it obvious that there was something else he was trying to convey.

“Oh, are you staying, Dr. Banner? You should sit with us.” I offered, trying to ignore the heat rising up in my cheeks. I knew what he was hinting at, but it wasn’t like that at all. Dr. Banner took my offer and soon we were all seated together. Steve resumed his sketching while I regaled Bruce with how his work was often mentioned during my time in both university and med school.

“Nice to know the Big Guy didn’t scare off the researchers,” Bruce chuckled. “When are you set to graduate med school?”

“Oh, I had to stop med school after the Incident. Other matters needed my attention more.” I explained. Both Steve and Bruce had sad expressions on their faces, but I tried smiling to show it wasn’t much of a bother at all.

“What kind of doctor did you want to be?” Bruce asked softly.

“After specializing, I always imagined myself being on the research side of the medical field. I had my eyes set on inventing a machine that could combine technology and medicine." It would be for the best that I left out the Mystic Arts side of things. “Imagine, within a few seconds, we can speed up healing with the use of something like nanotechnology. Of course, it would take years for technology to advance enough for something like that. I’d definitely say, though, that making healthcare more accessible is definitely achievable in our lifetime.”

“I’ve read a paper by a doctor from South Korea – have you heard of Helen Cho? She’s building this device called The Cradle. It’s very similar to what you’re envisioning.”

I smiled ruefully. I haven't heard of the doctor – I haven’t touched anything remotely medical in almost a year. It didn’t feel so good to be reminded of the dream that I had to put a stop to. At another point in my life, it was my driving force to wake up every morning. But now, I had different priorities.

“I hope you’ll consider returning to med school,” Bruce said after the three of us had been talking for almost two hours. We had continued to talk about medicine, technology, and whatever else we’ve been up to in the past year. Apparently, the Captain and the Hulk hadn’t seen each other since their shawarma outing despite living in the same city.

“Maybe I will one day.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Porsh.” Bruce said and shook my hand as well all stood.

“It was so nice meeting you, Dr. Banner.”

“Same to you. I hope I get to call you a doctor too one day.” Bruce gave me an encouraging smile.

“I hope for that too,” Steve added.

That makes three of us.

 

* * *

 

 

_April 3, 2013_

 

“Ever since you met Banner, the rest of the team minus Thor have been non-stop with texting me. They’re all asking who you are,” Steve shared during one afternoon at our usual bench.

His admission both surprised and scared me. Have the Avengers been watching me? Has SHIELD been watching? Bruce didn’t even know my last name! Well, he doesn’t need to – he knows what I studied in university and med school. I said too much. Telling Steve was one thing, but having the Avengers and a government agency hellbent on collecting and exploiting every secret was too much.  

“What is it?” Steve asked, immediately noticing the look of distress on my face.

I shook my head and wrung my hands together so I wouldn’t pull at my hair. More than anything, I wished for a cigarette. This could not be happening. I work so hard to make sure no one has anything on me or my family. My name is sparsely mentioned in any of the company files or the website. My school records are all archived and hidden. Hiding everything is second nature to me. But SHIELD was even more information-greedy than the rest of the American government. I’ve also heard that Stark’s AI was unparalleled. My minimal hacking and security skills I picked up from some electives in school were no match for those two. In other words, I was completely helpless.

“Portia,” Steve called out to me again, gently tugging at my chin so I would face him. “Tell me.”

I opened my mouth, already coming up with some diversion in my head, but I found myself distracted by his eyes. They have always been one of Steve’s most striking features. When he was staring at me so imperatively like that, I found myself lost. I had to shake my head to snap myself out of it.

“Portia,” Steve prodded again.

“I’m worried about people knowing who I am,” I admitted softly.

“I apologize. I know Banner thought that we were─”

“It’s not that,” I interrupted him. I found that I didn’t even mind that implication. My relationship with Steve at this point was ambiguous. We were closer than ever, and the possibility of becoming anything more than good friends definitely crossed my mind. But what we had now satisfied me, nothing really had to change for me to become happy. I was happy with what we already had. I felt like neither of us were in the position to commit to anything more.

“All my life the most important thing was keeping a low profile. My father told me people wouldn’t hesitate to kill for power like mine. The only way to survive was to not to draw too much attention.” However, that didn’t seem to work out so well for my family in recent years. “That’s why you scared me off the first time I met you. You approached me already knowing who I was, and I was caught off guard.”

There was a frown on Steve’s face. He moved to take my hands in his.

“SHIELD doesn’t have anything on you. I made sure if it.” Steve was very firm about this. There was an intense and serious look on his face. I wondered to what lengths he went through to be so sure of himself.

“I trust you,” I blurted out. That made Steve’s lips turn up into a grin.

“I trust you too.”

 

* * *

 

 

_May 3, 2013_

 

A smile immediately lit up on my face when I pulled the door open.

“Steve! You made it,” I greeted and ushered him inside. I tried to quell the laugh rising in my chest as I watched him remove his trainers and set it on the shoe rack by the door. It reminded me of his first visit here and the wary expression he apparently wore when Jhem removed his shoes for him. My housekeeper couldn’t stop gushing about it for days.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Steve grinned at me after making sure his shoes were stored properly. He held up a paper bag with a ribbon on it. “Where’s the birthday girl? I’ve got her present.”

“She’s making a mess on the dining table, and my friends are egging her on.” Steve and I chuckled. “Come in, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

I cringed internally when all my friends paused what they were doing to ogle at Steve. They didn’t even try to hide their surprise and curiosity at his arrival. I did my best not to burst out in nervous laughter. Steve took it all in stride and went straight for Wendy who reached out to him immediately.

“Shtee-vie!!!” Wendy cheered and Steve lifted her up and twirled her around. I couldn’t stop the smile creeping up on my lips. I studiously ignored the mischievous smirks the others were beginning to send me.

Wendy immediately tore into Steve’s gift, having the time of her life with the wrapping paper. While she was occupied, I introduced Steve to my group of friends from Kamar Taj.

“This is Susan. Susan, meet Steve.” I began with my curly-haired best friend.

“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Steve greeted her and held out his hand.

Susan shook it slowly. “Call me Suze. And that’s hardly fair, Portia’s only mentioned you once. That practically makes you non-existent.” Then she shot me a look I studiously ignored, mouthing Chinese words at me rapidly, but I was already moving on to the others.

“This is Mel, and this is her husband Chris.” I introduced the American couple.

“Hi, Steve.” Mel greeted, shaking Steve’s hand eagerly.

When it was Chris’ turn he asked: “So, how did you meet Porky?”

Steve raised his eyebrows. “Porky?”

I interrupted immediately, letting out an obvious and awkward laugh. I steered Steve to my next friend, one who liked to refer to himself as a classic Spanish Casanova “Steve meet Emmanuel.”

I resisted from slapping a hand to my face at the words Emmanuel spoke while shaking Steve’s hand. “So, you’re the boyfriend right?”

Steve grinned and shook his head. “No, sir. We’re just good friends, I’m afraid.”

“I don’t believe that for one second,” Tania said, joining in. She held out her hand and introduced herself. “I’m Tania. And this is today’s arm candy – Ernesto.”

I wanted to giggle at the confused look on Steve’s face as he shook Tania’s and Ernesto’s hands. He’s probably never encountered a woman who so blatantly dangled around her date to show off. Well, that was Tania and her French blood for you.  

Steve mingled with my friends easily. He deflected their teasing remarks gracefully, or would sometimes play along and give me a nudge or a wink. I could tell my friends approved. I had been nervous the night before. I wanted Steve to be here today because I knew he was important to Wendy, and he was important to me too. I just had no idea how the interaction between Steve and my friends from Kamar Taj would turn out. Apparently, I had nothing to worry about. Before me, I was seeing the charismatic Captain Steven Grant Rogers. This persona made him a beloved and iconic figure all across America. Who would doubt the man with the confident grin and easy going conversation couldn’t overcome any challenge? He looked more than happy to be here.

“You never mentioned that Steve was a total dreamboat,” Susan accused softly to me as the others continued to talk to Steve. “He’s incredibly sweet, and you just adore sweet.”

I chuckled. “I do.”

“Does he know about what we can do?” Susan asked.

I nodded.

“And he stuck around.” Susan nodded to herself, and I could tell her respect for Steve went up a few notches.

“He seems to love Wendy too,” she mentioned as we watched Steve chase Wendy around with a kazoo.

“They’re best friends.” I agreed.

“I’m happy for you. He’s a good man, Porsh.”

“He’s the best, but there’s nothing like that between us.”

Susan rolled her eyes at me. “You’re such a _báichī_ , Portia Coo. Here you have a man who can’t keep his eyes off of you for more than a minute. He’s everything you could ever want and Wendy loves him too. But you’re not making him yours? I can’t tell if you’re stupid or if you’re intentionally being ungrateful.”

“It’s more complicated than that, Suze.” I said. She knew that Steve knew about magic. But she and the rest didn’t know about him being Captain America. Susan would probably have a different stand about this if she knew about him being an Avenger. She would understand.

The easy banter between my friends and Steve continued. We all played children’s party games with Wendy. She was enamored with the dollhouse Tania had given her, and she loved the Iron Man mask Steve got her. I laughed a little too hard when she had opened it earlier, remembering Steve’s disappointment when the little girl told him who her favorite superhero was.

Eventually, Wendy was knocked out for the night and Jhem took over for the nightly rituals. The Howards left soon after to relieve the babysitter they had watching over their kids. Tania and Ernesto left after another hour, and Emmanuel and Susan left just before it struck 12 midnight. It was just Steve left behind helping me and Jhem clean up.

“I’m so grateful, but you really don’t need to this, Steve.” I insisted. “You’re a guest. Jhem and I got it. I promise.”

Steve shook his head. “I want to do this. Let me help, Porsh.”

Jhem suddenly waved her hands and all the cleaning supplies began working on their own, streaks of sparkling golden magic appearing around the items every few seconds. “I have it, Mistress. You go give Mister Rogers a proper goodbye.” She turned away without another word, leaving no room for argument from either of us. Not for the first time that night, I had to consciously stop myself from laughing nervously.

We ended up following Jhem’s orders. I went with Steve as he walked out to the porch. I closed the front door behind us, and we stood there in silence for a few seconds. Under the glow of the porchlight, he was gorgeous. His blue eyes seemed so much brighter amidst the shadows. The lines of his face were emphasized in the glow. It was as if my heartbeat was ringing in my ears. If it was this loud for me, then I was certain Steve could hear it too.

Everything from today came back to me. I thought about the way my friends would tease me and Steve and how the pair of us would usually go along with it, not really getting incited. I’ve known ever since the end of last year that I had feelings for the Captain. I just didn’t know if I could act on them. Susan was right, he was everything I ever wanted and more. Standing here and looking at him like this just amplified the feeling.

“Thank you so much for coming,” I finally found my voice. “I know tomorrow─” I glanced at my watch. “Well, today will be rough with all the ceremonies. I hope you know that Wendy was so glad to see you. I’m really happy you came.”

“It was my pleasure. I love being around you…and Wendy.” Steve added after a beat. “Your friends were very welcoming. It’s been a while since I had fun at a party.”

“Children’s parties are the best,” I said, trying to ignore the fluttering in my chest that persisted after he said he loved being around me. The chemistry between us has always been mutual, I could never deny that. Both of us were just being extremely cautious. I had Wendy and our magic to think about. Steve had…everything to think about.

“Thank you for having me.” Steve smiled.

“Thanks for coming,” I repeated and couldn’t resist pulling him into a hug. I loved Steve’s hugs. He was warm and huge. Every time I was in his arms I felt safe from the rest of the world. Only Steve Rogers could give hugs like that. He pressed me closer to his chest and nuzzled his head against mine. I closed my eyes and savored the moment.

Without really thinking about it, I pulled back a little. Steve’s bright eyes were on mine. I shifted a little as I hesitated. Then in the next second, I pressed my lips to his. It was a soft kiss, a quick kiss. Steve’s lips were still under mine and I released him after a moment.

My apology was already forming when Steve cupped the back of my head and pulled me back to him. Our lips met and Steve was coaxing movement from me. I obliged and our lips moved against each other sensually. I closed my eyes and lost myself to the feeling of Steve against me. He led me backward a few steps so that I was trapped between him and the wall. His thigh rested between my legs and everything between us felt so hot. I felt his tongue press between my lips and I parted them. Our kiss was hot and heavy, the movements between our lips and tongues pulsing and slick. I pulled away only when I was out of breath, and opened my eyes to find Steve staring at me with a glazed look. His hand was still holding my head and I mirrored the action by placing mine against his cheek. I felt him lean into the touch and I smiled.

Steve leaned his forehead against mine and we could have stood like that for an eternity and I wouldn’t have noticed.

“Good night, Steve,” I whispered, stroking his jaw.

He stared at me hard, like he was looking into my soul. “Good night, Portia.”

He caught my lips in a kiss once more and we moved together in a heated moment. When we parted, Steve pressed one last quick peck on my lips before stepping away. Immediately, I felt cold without him against me.

He gave me an almost bashful smile. I don’t know what I looked like, against the wall and panting. I waved goodbye as he started up his motorcycle then sped off.

 

* * *

 

 

_May 4, 2013_

 

I stayed in with Wendy today and gave Jhem the day off. The baby was dozing beside me as I watched a news channel’s coverage of the Battle of New York vigil being held at the May Memorial Park. None of the Avengers were present. Aside from New York’s mayor, there weren’t really any speakers. The program mainly consisted of the families of victims placing offerings on the center statue of the park. There were some displays sharing stories from the day. They were put up at the start of the month and Steve and I viewed them the day before Wendy’s party.

I didn’t know what Steve was doing today. A part of me wished I was with him, but I understood that there were some things people needed to go through alone. I knew Steve would come to me if he wanted my company.

Still, I couldn’t help sending one text.

_Thank you for everything you’ve done. I’ll see you soon, Steve._

 

* * *

 

 

_June 22, 2013_

 

Things were changing between Steve and me.

Well, perhaps not too many things changed. We kissed sometimes and touched each other a little more closely. Other than that, everything mostly stayed the same.

I was right before. Neither of us ever pushed things too forward. We never openly talked about what we were to each other. We were both very careful and very conscious of how the other was feeling. But Steve was addicting. I couldn’t get enough of him.

He was special to me in a way I never expected him to become. He was a sometimes who suddenly became everything. We both had our secrets, and we respected that. Becoming more would mean divulging more. I knew I wasn’t ready for that. Telling Steve everything could put him in more danger than he already is in with the nature of his job. I had a feeling he didn’t want to say too much about the reasons for the bruises around his body or the exhaustion in his eyes.

Being there for each other had to be enough.

It scared me to admit this to myself. I didn’t know how to feel about any of this. But I didn’t want it to stop either.

 

* * *

 

 

_July 4, 2013_

 

“Look at this,” Steve said as he joined me on the picnic bench in my garden. Jhem was playing tag with a giggling Wendy while the housekeeper’s magic kept the grill going. The fireworks were about to start any minute. At first, I thought Steve wouldn’t want to be around for all that noise – especially in a congested place like New York. When he asked if he could spend the day with us here for his birthday, I was surprised. He admitted that the explosions did remind him of terrible things – but it made him want to create happier memories even more.

I went all out for him. Even if it was just the four us (he didn’t want to invite any friends from “work”), I decorated the garden with loads of balloons and streamers. The steaks and other meats I had were enough to feed more than a dozen people (meaning it was just enough for Steve plus the rest of us). I bought silly hats for everyone to wear and sparklers to play around with. Steve was so relaxed in the middle of the American celebration. It wasn’t one I celebrated very often in my life – usually, I went back to Hong Kong to get away from the noise. But having people to spend the holiday with made it a hundred times better.

Steve showed me yet another photo Tony Stark sent. The inventor did grant the captain with a phone as I predicted, but he also used the line to send Steve the most ridiculous things. This instance was a photo of what looked like a photoshopped manipulation of Captain America wearing nothing with only a blazing sparkler to cover up his groin.

I laughed. “Want to recreate it? I think we have what we need here.” We both laughed at that and Wendy ran over to us to find out what was going on. In the next instant, Steve lifted her up and lifted her so she could pretend she was flying. I smiled at the sight. He was incredible with her.

“Bring out the gift,” I whispered to Jhem as both Steve and Wendy were occupied. My trusty housekeeper nodded once and hurried off to get what I asked for. I played a game of tag with the two in the meantime. It was all very unfair and consisted of Steve helping Wendy tickle me.

Jhem came out with a cake topped with candles and sparklers and a wrapped box tucked under her arms. I hurried over to lighten her burden then began singing happy birthday. Wendy joined in, having learned the song as best as she could the day before. She ambled over to Steve and latched onto his leg until the captain lifted her into his arms once more. She sang sweetly to him and the smile never left Steve’s face.

“Happy birthday to you!”

Wendy cheered as Steve blew out his cake. I handed him his gift which he opened on the spot. It was a few new sketchpads and watercolors. He hugged me closely and kissed me on the forehead for that. The fireworks began and the four of us ate cake while viewing the spectacle.

“I just realized I have no idea when your birthday is,” Steve murmured to me as Wendy swooned over the fireworks display.

“April 25.”

Steve’s mouth dropped open. “You never said! We should have celebrated!”

I laughed. “There’s no need. We went out to that coffee shop we met Dr. Banner in again. I had a good time.”

“Portia,” Steve half-whined.

“Besides, why would I want to celebrate turning 27?” I wrinkled my nose at that. “I’m practically ancient!”

Steve snorted. “You’re celebrating me turning 93.”

“And you look just lovely for your age. Not a day over 75, Steve.”

 

* * *

 

 

_July 5, 2013_

 

When he presented me with flowers and bookstore-bought set of tarot cards the next day, I accepted with an amused smile and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

 

* * *

 

 

_August 20, 2013_

 

The second time I meet another Avenger it’s 2 AM on a Tuesday morning.

When my head hit my pillow the night before, I was fast asleep. It was hustle season in the company and my usual style of ghost-chairman just wasn’t cutting it. Chastity and Imogen needed my input on absolutely everything. Still, I preferred it over feuding with my distant relatives over control of the company. Lately, Coo & Co. and all its sibling companies have been doing well in recovering from The Incident. The companies stayed afloat and even rendered services to assist in the repair of New York. It probably helped that a lot of its forces also existed in Hong Kong.

The power struggle in the early months since The Incident had been straining, but everything was calmer now. Most of the top people across the companies accepted my role. Each company has been improving. No one had anything to complain about. If anyone started nitpicking, Chastity threw them away in a snap.

Still, there were days when work was just so heavy. I found myself falling asleep multiple times as I read Wendy her bedtime story. Thankfully, she took it as a cue to surrender to slumber as well.

To be roused from sleep from a blaring text ringtone wasn’t the best feeling in the world. Still, I was glad I mustered the strength to check my screen.

_Hawkeye hurt bad. I’m sorry, I know it’s late. Come to my apartment. Please._

(Steve tended to text in fragments when he was under a lot of pressure.)

After knocking loudly on Jhem’s door to tell her where I was going, I stepped into a portal that led me right into the middle of Steve’s apartment. After that December night, I’ve visited many more times. The surveillance equipment around his apartment fizzled out instantly at my presence. I helped Steve slightly change the angles of the equipment so that they were all a bit off and he had his blind spots where he could truly be private. I’ve checked it a few times remotely from my own home and found that SHIELD hadn’t restored it. It made me wonder just how closely they watched him, and if they were catching on that Steve was more than aware of what they did.

This time, I found Steve in the living area. There was a man lying on the couch and getting blood all around him. Steve was applying pressure on a wound on the man’s leg while blood streamed steadily from a wound on the man’s head. Steve himself looked fine – just a bit roughed up and dusty. I was relieved that he was relatively unharmed.

“What happened?” I asked as I rushed over. Again, I found myself wondering if SHIELD even had any doctors.

“Mission went badly,” Steve explained shortly. “He took a nasty blow to the head. He got shot through straight through the leg. Fell down a lot as well, maybe bruised ribs.”

Steve was mostly right. I verified his claims by bringing up the couch-man’s vitals before me. He was awake and in pain, but he watched me get to work with an astounded look on his face. I started with the blow on his head. Dealing with head injuries was far more intricate and delicate than other processes, but I knew what to do. There was a lot of finger-flexing and golden lights involved on my part, and I managed to patch up his head injuries in a few minutes. Next up was his leg. I did a pulling motion and drained out the bad blood while simultaneously closing his wound. I had to shift his leg around and apologized as Hawkeye groaned out. He kept his eyes open, watching every move I made. After I addressed the two most pressing injuries, I got to work on everything else. Steve was right about his ribs, and even his tailbone was a little tender. Those were easy fixes that I did under half a minute. When everything was finished, I ended by giving him small bursts of energy to help him adjust to his newly healed state. The entire experience could get a little confusing for anyone experiencing my magic for the first time. I brought up his vitals for one last check and was satisfied with the golden glow that signified that Hawkeye was in perfect shape.

“You might still feel sore,” I explained. “Your mind still believes your injuries are fatal – but everything should be fine now. You should get some rest. Oh right ─ my name is Portia. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hawkeye.”

“It’s Clint,” he corrected me as he moved to sit upright. He looked a little confused but he adjusted easier than most people would. “Where did Cap find you?”

“Clint,” Steve intoned in a warning tone.

“We met each other last year,” I answered.

Clint leaned back against the couch easily and grimaced at the bloodied upholstery. I waved my hands and everything was cleaned up.

“Huh,” Clint said as he inspected his newly-cleaned surroundings. “Right, where can I get one of you for the ol’ bachelor pad?”

“You’re funny, Mr. Clint.”

“It’s Clint,” he said again and I nodded amiably.

“So, are you the mystery girl Banner told us about? Please say yes – I can’t wait to gloat about this to Stark.”

“I met Dr. Banner a few months ago. I didn’t realize I left an impression.”

“You left _quite_ an impression. You had us all reeling when we couldn’t dig up a thing about you – not even a picture or footage from the coffee shop you were at! What is up with that, anyway? If we’d known all it took to meet you was to get hurt, we would have met you months ago.”

“How did you get hurt? Does SHIELD really not have any doctors for this?”

Clint shot Steve a look when I mentioned SHIELD.

Steve sighed and finally explained. “This mission wasn’t exactly SHIELD-approved.”

“Was the mission from December like that too?”

“What happened in December?” Clint joined in once more. Steve gave Clint a look that said ‘not now’ and shook his head at me. I wanted to sigh in frustration but kept quiet instead. I could understand that some things couldn’t be said. It didn’t bother me too much before. But after everything – well, like I’ve been saying this whole time, things changed.

“Sooooooo,” Clint dragged on as he unsubtly changed the subject. “Should I be worried about any leftovers from some sexy times on this couch? Or do you always do the cleaning thing after every saucy encounter?”

Steve looked murderous. My loud and nervous laugh didn’t quite help.

 

* * *

 

 

_September 12, 2013_

 

The coffee shop where we once met Dr. Banner in easily became a favorite of mine and Steve’s. At first, we worried we would run into other nosey Avengers but the iced salted caramel latte called to me. So far, there had been no other encounters.

Steve was drawing again, and this time I brought a book with me.

“I’m thinking about going back to med school,” I said as I took a break after finishing a chapter. Steve looked up from his drawing with a smile.

“I’m really happy to hear that,” he told me sincerely. He held his hand out for my old medical text and flipped through it. I could tell he was spending a bit of time admiring the anatomy drawings. “What brought this on all of a sudden?”

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I just felt like picking up the book this morning. Reading it again made me realize how much I missed it. And, I read an article on the woman Dr. Banner mentioned.”

He gave me an amused smile and handed me my book back. “Well, I’m still happy about it. I know you’ve missed working for your dream.” As always, I was surprised by how well Steve actually knew me. “Will you be returning to the same school?”

“Nothing’s for sure,” I said immediately and Steve raised a brow at me. “Honest! It was just a thought, a very serious thought.”

“You’re going to do it,” Steve said with an air of finality. His eyes were so determined. It made my stomach coil to realize how intense his feelings about this were.

“Maybe I will.”

“You definitely will.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because I know you.”

At one point, a statement like that would have scared the wits out of me but hearing it now just made me feel warm inside. What was Steve Rogers doing to me?

 

* * *

 

 

_October 31, 2013_

 

“I’m glad you made it this year,” I managed to get out in between laughs. But really, I didn’t know how anyone could keep a serious face on when Steve was dressed up as a shirtless Hulk. I didn’t even have it in me to admire seeing him this underdressed for the first time. Little Wendy babbled and danced around him in a Mushu costume. “Shall I take a picture for you to send to Dr. Banner?”

“Don’t you dare,” Steve practically growled out. When he told me he would do everything to make it to Halloween this year, I became very excited. I told Steve to leave his costume to me. I’m sure he was wishing he said no at this moment but I thought he looked amazing. I had blushed earlier when he told me I looked very pretty and that the Mulan costume suited me well.

The doorbell rang. Jhem answered it, and immediately streams of my best friend’s voice flowed into where we were gathered on the second-floor sitting room.

“Over here, Suze! Come see Steve’s amazing costume!”

 

* * *

 

 

_November 29, 2013_

 

We were back at our bench again, just talking the afternoon away.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that your great uncle once tried to take your position in the company from you? And then just a few years after that your grandmother married your uncle and teamed up to try to take your position again? And you only got them to quit because you paid them a hefty sum?”

“Yeah, you pretty much got it.”

Steve whistled lowly. “That’s…quite a family.”

“That grandma isn’t related to that uncle. They’re from different sides of the family, and they both married in.”

“That’s not what I meant, but still, does that mean your grandmother’s your aunt now or is your uncle your step-grandfather?”

“I try not to think too much about it. Maybe they don’t have to be anything to me now.”

We both agreed on that.

“I still don’t think I completely get it. What is it exactly that you _do_?”

“Technically, I’m the chairman of Coo & Co. Before me, it was my father. Under Coo & Co., there are several other companies founded by other family members over generations.  When my cousin’s family passed, their companies were absorbed into Coo & Co. too. I’m the head of the central board that oversees everything, but I’m more of a ghost chairman at this point. Chastity and Imogen – do you remember them from the Young West House sale? – they’re the ones who keep everything running. I just sign stuff.” It was certainly an oversimplification of what I did, but there wasn’t really another way of putting it. I was surprised when Steve suddenly wanted to talk about my company and what I did there, but I indulged him. He seemed a little off today. Perhaps he had a lot on his mind.

“You sign papers? That’s it?”

“Well, I definitely read through them. Anything with my signature on it is like law in the company. I have to be careful about what I sign. I also take the time to track the progress of every company. I visit undercover once in a while too. Whenever there’s an internal problem or an external one that’s heavy enough, usually I have to be there to solve it. But no one outside the core central board even knows for sure how I look like. They know I exist but that’s about that. It’s not just the privacy thing my family was obsessed with – it’s more of a defensive mode for making sure I keep my own position. My own family didn’t seem to have any qualms about challenging my right to lead, what more if the old men heading the other companies found out I was just some young girl who quit school?”

“I’m sure if they got to know you, they’d be very afraid. Just like that Osborn man from the sale.”

“Oh yeah, Imogen took him down a few notches for sure.”

“You must put a lot of trust in Ms. Chastity and Ms. Imogen.”

“There’s no doubt about that. Chastity worked for my dad, and was his fiercest defender when my other family members were trying to take over. My dad’s old executive assistant sided with my great uncle the first time around. I gave her his job and she’s been doing amazingly ever since. I actually met Imogen when I was in high school. She was working under Chastity during my dad’s time so when Chastity asked me to hire her an EA, Imogen was my first choice. Neither of them has ever failed me. I’m incredibly lucky”

“Do they know about what you can do?”

“Not at all. The businesses were meant to be our world away from the Mystic Arts. Everything could come crashing down if they ever found out.”

“Why is that?”

“It’s just the way it’s always been. My family was very wary of revealing our powers or anything too personal to outsiders. At the end of the day, we thought the only people we could trust were our family.” Of course, my previous stories already proved me wrong.

“But you told me,” Steve said softly as if he was only saying it to himself.

Still, I answered him. “Everything’s different with you, Steve.”

At that, we stared at each other for a moment. I couldn’t help but see the pain in his eyes. What was wrong? I wanted to ask but he wasn’t giving anything away. It wasn’t my place to press.

Instead, I just took his hand in mine. We sat together, shoulders touching, in silence for the rest of the afternoon.

 

* * *

 

 

_December 7, 2013_

 

The off thing about Steve never really went away after that. Today, I finally found out why.

“They’re transferring me to D.C. As far as they know, I have no reason to say no.”

I shouldn’t have felt the giant drop in my stomach. I knew, I _knew_ I shouldn’t have gotten so attached. But there was no stopping Steve Rogers – especially me. The world needed an amazing man like him. Who was I to hold him back?

Was that why he was telling me? So that I would give him a reason to stay back?

All this time we were together, I knew it couldn’t last. Perhaps this was it. Maybe this was Agamotto telling me my time was up. And what a wonderful time it was. Letting go wouldn’t be easy, but it was a choice I had to make.

I think Steve knew that too.

A part of me was irked with him for leaving this act to me. He was leaving me to do the dirty work while his hands were left clean. But a bigger part of me knew that was ridiculous. Steve would never do that. He was just being truthful. It was plain on his face just how pained he was about all of this. Neither of us wanted this but it was what we had.

I knew he had his own trepidations about our relationship. There was the entire Captain America dimension that he had to think about. There was never any assurance whenever he left for his missions. One day, he could go out and never come back. It’s certainly happened before. Because of who he is anyone around him would always be in danger. I’ve done everything in my life to avoid danger, no matter how ineffective it has been lately. And with SHIELD watching his every move, what kind of relationship could we ever have beyond this middle ground of friendship and romance?

It’s not like I was without my own burdens. All my life I will have people after me and the magic I have. They would be after Wendy too. It would be so unfair to ask Steve to live like that, Captain America or not.

I knew all of this but still, _still_ it hurt me beyond anything I’ve ever known. And this was the type of pain I couldn’t just heal with a wave of my hand. This one, I was sure, would stay with me for longer than I could ever imagine.

“I’m sorry to hear that,”

I didn’t really think about it. I immediately got to my feet. Steve did the same and tried calling out to me, but I was already walking away. He was more than capable of following after me and stopping me, but he didn’t. He knew I made my choice. And it wasn’t him. It couldn’t be him.

 

* * *

 

 

_December 31, 2013_

 

I didn’t see Steve again after he told me he was leaving. I figured it would be easier if this was the way it was going to be from now on. It was radio silence from his end as well. Of course, I considered that we could have kept our friendship up over the long distance but in all honesty, it seemed like the best time to put an end to everything. Whatever we had was not sustainable. It would have been unfair to both of us to keep holding on like that.

I was greatly irritated with myself when I jumped at the first text Steve sent me since the last time we’ve seen each other.

_I’m sorry. I understand. I’d still love to see you one more time before I go. Ball Drop, in front of the maple? I’ll be there._

I didn’t even have to think about it. I knew I would be there too.

Steve was already waiting when I arrived. When I stepped up next to him, he looked at me with a sad smile. His eyes seemed to be shining. I think he was happy to see me.

We didn’t say a word the entire night. The place was packed, people from all over the city and all over the world waiting to see the ball drop.

We held on to each other’s hands, our fingers intertwined deep in Steve’s pocket. I leaned my head gently on his shoulder.

The ball dropped.

When it was finally time for us to part, I broke our silence.

“My Captain,” I said as I cupped his jaw. He leaned into my touch a final time and pressed a warm kiss on my forehead.

I left first. He was insistent, and I could feel his eyes on my back as I walked away.

We were doing the right thing. I had to believe that.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> báichī - idiot
> 
> Next up, we'll finally be getting into more of the MCU canon. Till' next time!


	5. III - The Winter Soldier: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I went running with Captain America! The Captain America! Well, one of us was probably struggling to keep up, but still! We even chatted a bit after the run. I invited him to stop by the V.A. sometime and did a good deed of recommending Marvin Gaye. He even penned it down in a little notebook – can you believe it? Then he had to leave because a lady that looked like a supermodel picked him up in this sleek car. It was straight out of the movies, I’m telling you.”
> 
> I could have won an award for being able to keep a mildly-interested face and a calm tone when everything inside me was panicking. “I hear you. It’s not every day you get to meet a superhero.”
> 
> I wanted to laugh because that’s exactly what I had been doing a few months ago.

“Sam - hello!” I greeted warmly and couldn’t wipe the grin off my face as the former soldier engulfed me in a tight hug. It’s been nearly two years since I last saw him, and the rush of familiarity was almost overwhelming. Everything was so different two years ago.

I met Sam when I was fulfilling my volunteer requirement with Doctors without Borders for their mission based in Las Vegas. I was assigned as a junior medic in his team. Sam’s good-hearted and easy-going nature made it so easy to bond with him. The months we spent together made us closer – he was like a brother to me. My assignment was cut short when the Battle of New York happened and I had to rush home. No flights were leaving the state, so I portaled. The dizzying spell in my head lasted for days after that. I left without saying goodbye. The next time I contacted Sam was through a phone call expressing my condolences for the death of his pararescue partner. We exchanged a few greetings over e-mail during the holidays after that, but our last real conversation was a few weeks ago when I ringed him to ask if I could stay over while I visited D.C. I decided I would push through with my plans to return to med school, but I wanted a bit of a fresh start. Luckily, Sam was more than happy to accommodate me. I could have stayed in a hotel, but I didn’t want to miss the chance to reconnect with him. I was so glad he felt the same way.

“Let me take that for you,” Sam said as he took my luggage from me, his caring nature shining through. He led me to the parking lot and stowed my bags in the trunk of his car.

“My place is about half an hour away, depending on how good traffic is to us,” he explained as we began our drive. We filled the time easily enough, trading stories of how we spent the past years. Sam talked far more than I did. I told him a little about how I stopped med school to take over the family business (he frowned a little at that) and raise Wendy. Sam regaled me with stories about the V.A. and how proud he was of the difference he felt like he was making. I was happy that Sam was able to pick himself up after the traumatic experience of losing his partner in action. I appreciated his candor in sharing his experiences. He was unashamed of the healing process he went through to become the man he is today.

Before getting to Sam’s house, we passed a drive-through to get all kinds of fast food. When we reached his home, we spread everything on the table and talked until the wee hours of the morning. He pressed for more details of what I’ve been doing with my time. Sam was never made privy to my abilities as I had to practice the skills I was learning in med school in the field. I wasn’t up to talking about the man that used to fill my days either. So I turned the conversation to raising Wendy – showing Sam the polaroid pictures and the pictures on my phone. I also told him a little more about Coo & Co. and the mishaps with my remaining family members. In turn, Sam divulged more about his personal healing process and how he still missed his partner and being a soldier. Still, he felt like what he was doing now was more than meaningful and that was everything to him. It made me happy to see him so content.

“Right, we better turn in now.” Sam declared once the clock struck 2 AM. “No matter what I do, I’m always up at six – but you better sleep in, Cookie,” he used his nickname for me affectionately. It had sprung from the one instance when I brought a batch of cookies for his team. From that day on, I was known as Portia Cookie.

I chuckled. “Don’t worry, I certainly will.”

Sam’s guest room was very comfortable if a little bare. The man decorated like he was still in the military. Maybe I could give him knick-knacks as a thank-you gift before leaving.

The moment I closed my eyes, I realized just how tired I was. I always hated traveling by plane – I would honestly prefer portaling countries away like other masters often did. Even the long-distance portals were less of a headache compared to the bustle of airport life. But my family always insisted on the little details. Thus, planes were an irremovable part of my life. I learned how to bear with it. The practice was practically drilled into me. 

I woke up at around lunch time to the smell of breakfast. When I walked into the kitchen, I found a warmed plate of bacon and eggs waiting for me. Sam looked like he was just starting on breakfast himself, a similar plate before him and mug of coffee in his hands.

“Morning,” Sam greeted with a smile.

“Good morning. Do you always have breakfast at 11 am?”

“It would be rude to eat without my guest don’t you think?”

“Oh, Sam, you didn’t have to wait for me. You must have been up for hours.”

“It was no trouble, there was plenty to do. I got to do a lot of paperwork – the icky stuff you know, like the e-mails. Went for a nice run around the Mall too – and Jesus, Portia, you’ll never guess.”

“Guess what?”

“I went running with Captain America! _The_ Captain America! Well, one of us was probably struggling to keep up, but still! We even chatted a bit after the run. I invited him to stop by the V.A. sometime and did a good deed of recommending Marvin Gaye. He even penned it down in a little notebook – can you believe it? Then he had to leave because a lady that looked like a supermodel picked him up in this sleek car. It was straight out of the movies, I’m telling you.”

I could have won an award for being able to keep a mildly-interested face and a calm tone when everything inside me was panicking. “I hear you. It’s not every day you get to meet a superhero.”

I wanted to laugh because that’s exactly what I had been doing a few months ago. This was why I was so reluctant about stepping foot into D.C at all. But the e-mail I received from Georgetown was intriguing. I should have been worried about how they knew about my med school situation, but the courses and programs they were offering me were tempting. I figured it was worth giving it a second look, along with checking out the other schools in the area. D.C. seemed like a lovely place for a new start, maybe Steve had the right idea. (I firmly believed that if I kept telling myself that over and over again, it would hurt a little less).

The thoughts and memories I had been suppressing for months nearly rushed back to me like water breaking through a dam. I commended my own ability to compartmentalize. I would save the brooding for another day maybe.

“I swear, the man was running literal circles around me. He really knows how to make a guy feel some humility, you know.”

“I didn’t realize you were such a Captain America fanboy.” I teased.

“Ha! I’d like to see you act all not-starstruck when you find yourself face to face with an _Avenger_. You’ll never know for sure until it hits you.”

“I’ll pass. You know how much I enjoy the quiet life.”

Sam snorted at that but said nothing more about his morning run in with Captain America. He told me about his plans for the rest of the day and asked me about mine as well.

“I think I’ll head to Georgetown and check out the program offerings. Maybe explore a bit?”

“I really am sorry I can’t be with you today, Cookie. A lot of the other staff are on leave.”

“It’s no problem, Sam, really. I’m already imposing as much as it is.”

“No way. I’m glad you’re here.”

Sam dropped me off near the station. Instead of the university, I found myself taking a train ride to the National Mall. I couldn’t help but try to envision Steve running around, just as Sam described. To be walking where had been just a few hours earlier felt surreal. The Avengers have been lying low in the news lately – well, excluding the whole thing with Thor at Greenwich. Apparently, the whole team had been a little miffed but still relieved not to be invited to that ordeal. I’m sure Iron Man wanted nothing to do with any more supervillains – especially of the alien variety – after dealing with the Mandarin threat so soon after the Incident.

After a few hours of walking around aimlessly, I plopped down on the grass in front of the Washington Monument. It was my first time seeing it in person. Truth be told, it was a little underwhelming. It looked like a giant white pencil. There were a lot of tourists around for a weekday, plenty of them taking funny pictures in front of the monument despite the signs calling for respect. Still, it was peaceful sitting here with the wind whipping at my face.

I decided to make a phone call back home.

“Good afternoon, this is the Rosamund House.” Jhem dutifully answered the phone after the second ring.

“Hi, Jhem, just checking in. Is everything alright there?”

“Oh, Mistress! Everything is well. Wendy is with her nursery tutor right now. They’re covering numbers. Nothing remarkable to report on. Perhaps the little one and I will go shopping for orange juice and fresh fruit tomorrow morning. Your flight went well?”

“Yes, no delays, thankfully. I arrived as expected.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Mistress. Will you want to talk to Wendy?”

“Yes please, Jhem. Thank you.”

After a little bit of shuffling, my adoptive daughter was on the line. She would be turning two next month. “Mama?”

My heart seemed to swell at the sound of her voice. “Hello, dearest. How are you?”

“Seven eight nine!” Wendy exclaimed into the phone and burst into a fit of laughter. It was infectious and I laughed along.

“Are you learning plenty, Wendy?”

“Yes, mama.”

“That’s very good. You be a good student to Master Roku, yes?”

“Yes!” Wendy agreed. I couldn’t tell for sure if she was aware of what she was saying. “Love you, mama.”

“As I love you, Wendy. Goodbye for now.”

“Bye-bye!”

I closed my eyes and let the memories return to me slowly. On their own accord, my lips curved into a smile as I remembered the way Steve was so good with Wendy. No matter what he did, he was always able to make her smile. I thought about my first meeting with Steve and the encounters that followed – all of them felt endless and fantastical. There was no denying that Captain America was a good person. Even now, I say that with all assurance. In another life, I’m sure we could have been more. But both of us had burdens that were too heavy to share. A part of me regretted ending things the way I did, but the end result would have always been the same. Would I have been happier to receive small talk e-mails from him every now and again, only for the communication to die out when we were too far apart? What we had in our days in New York was special and untouchable. Steve was a memory I would treasure forever.

But I had to move on.

My resolve was firm and invigorating. The next day I did manage to visit Georgetown and even made some side trips to other schools. The offerings were appealing, but I wasn’t sure if they were enough to bring me away from New York. Portaling here every day wouldn’t be as bad as portaling to a different country, but it was still a great risk. There were still so many things to consider. I couldn’t just uproot Wendy after she settled so well in the Rosamund House. Being here also increased my chances of running into Steve. What would happen if Sam invited me for a morning run around the Mall?

Did the idea of Steve have to stop me from reaching my goals? Was I cursed to be stagnant after he left my life like that? I didn’t want to believe it, but a part of me was always regretting the way I handled things. I wish I had been wiser.

“Good run?” I asked as Sam arrived and closed the side door, his back all sweaty and heaving with deep pants. It was my fourth day staying at his place and I thought it was about time I picked up the slack and helped with breakfast. I hope he would be glad about the hearty meal of pancakes, beans, and fruits that greeted him after his run.

“You know,” Sam started as he walked over to the fridge. “Even when he isn’t around, I feel like Captain America’s right behind me about to say ‘On your left.’ and man that drives me nuts! It just pushes me harder to keep running.” Sam whined.

“Isn’t that good then?”

After a huge gulp straight from the carton of orange juice, he replied, “Yeah, but I’m _exhausted_ , Cookie.”

My laughter was cut short by a brisk knock coming from Sam’s patio door. We both shared a confused glance before Sam ambled his way over there. My view from the kitchen was obscured by the wall.

“Hey, man,” I heard Sam greet. Did people normally visit him through his patio?

“I’m really sorry about this. We need a place to lay low.”

My heart stopped.

It’s been months, but his voice still had an effect on me. I closed my eyes and I could already imagine the look in his eyes. Steve was _here_ in Sam’s house for some reason. I wondered just how close were the bonds you forged when running. I didn’t know what to do. Should I reveal myself and say hello like nothing out of the ordinary was happening? Should I wave all my stuff back into my bags and portal away never to be seen again?

Of course, I already knew my answer to that.

Another voice I didn’t recognize chimed in. “Everyone we know is trying to kill us.”

Sam seemed to pause for a moment. Surely he would let them in? Or was he remembering that I currently occupied his guest room and was standing in his kitchen? As far as Sam knew, I’ve never met Captain America or any Avenger. Agamotto, was he in for a surprise today.

Finally, Sam replied. “Not everyone.” Immediately after, I heard footsteps stepping into the house. No turning back now.

I just stood there wringing my hands as I waited for Steve to finally see me. Sam seemed to try to cut in front of them as they stepped into the kitchen.

“Right, uh, I should probably introduce you to─”

“ _Portia_?” Steve questioned, effectively cutting Sam off.

“Hi, Steve. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Aaaaaaand, you two know each other,” Sam added unnecessarily.

For the moment, Steve seemed speechless. I turned my gaze to his companion. She was a beautiful redhead. I suspected she was who they called Black Widow. She wore a guarded and suspicious look on her face ever since she realized that it wasn’t only the three of them in the house. My eyes moved down to where she was clutching her side.

“You’re hurt,” I said and moved forward, instinctively holding out my hand. I only stopped when I noticed how much tenser Black Widow got.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“You’re right, she is hurt. Natasha could really use your help,” said Steve, eyeing me uncertainly. I turned away to avoid his piercing gaze.

“Of course,” I kept my eyes trained on Natasha. “Please. You should sit down. I’ll be with you in just a moment. Sam, I have to take your towels.” Well, I didn't really have to. I just felt so suffocated. I needed a moment to collect myself.

“Go ahead, take everything you need,” the owner of the house waved me off. “You can trust Portia. She was the greatest medic I ever had.” It was a bit muffled by the walls, but I heard Steve ask Sam how he knew me. Sam gave him a quick version of how we met and just finished as I returned with the towels.

“I’m Portia,” I introduced myself as I set the towels on the dining table and faced Natasha.

“Natasha,” she replied and now her gaze looked curious. “Are you Cap’s mystery girl? The one Banner and Clint met?”

I shot a quick look at Steve and wished I hadn’t. His eyes bore into mine for that moment before I whipped away to turn back to Natasha.

“Um, I wouldn’t know. Can you tell me what happened to you? Where are you hurt?”

The Black Widow raised a brow but thankfully didn’t comment on my not so subtle deflection. “There was an explosion. I could have a concussion. There’s a lot of bruising for sure.”

“Alright,” I nodded and took a deep breath. Then I turned to Sam.

“Sam, listen. You’re going to see something that may shock you. For what it’s worth, I am sorry for keeping this from you.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Cookie?”

“He doesn’t know?” Steve asked before I could answer.

“Not a lot of people do,” I replied without looking at him. I could still feel his gaze burning a hole into my back.

I waved my hands in front of Natasha and pulled out a glowing show of her vitals. Sam gasped audibly and I could still feel Steve watching me. Natasha watched me work with interest as well. I quickly fixed her bruises, clearing them away with a flick of my wrist. There were signs of a minor concussion on her skull but with a little twist of my index and middle finger, it was all healed up. She had a bit of bleeding at the side she was clutching earlier and with the softest graze of my fingertips, I closed the wound as if I was sewing it shut. I ended with giving her a burst of energy through a pat on the shoulder. All in all, the process took less than five minutes. (And I didn’t touch the towels once.)

“Thank you,” Natasha managed and I nodded to her, even giving her a small smile.

“Okay, what just happened?” Sam asked.

I turned around to face him and spoke slowly. “I healed her.”

“Right. I got that. Sure. You wave your fingers and there’s gold light and poof – injury’s gone! Have you always been able to do that?”

“Yes.”

“And where was that when I sprained my ankle and dislocated my shoulder after a bad landing?!”

“I had to use real medicine if I wanted to earn my degree,” I explained apologetically.  

“Which you apparently don’t need anyway – Portia, that was amazing!”

I smiled. I was so grateful for Sam’s easy acceptance. “Thanks, Sam.”

“Clint didn’t tell me about the powers,” Natasha said to me accusingly.

“Oh. That was very kind of him – to keep my secret.”

“Do you have many of them?”

“Natasha,” Steve cut in with a warning tone. “Enough.”

“Not fair. Dr. Banner and Clint had their turn in interrogating your girlfriend.”

“Wait, _girlfriend_?” Sam joined in.

“You two can get cleaned up in the guest room I’m staying in,” I said loudly, not even trying to hide how I decided it was time to steer the conversation away. Again, I avoided Steve’s gaze at all costs.

Thankfully, Sam went with it, but not without a triumphant smirk. “Right. Cookie, care to show them the way?”

I led Steve and Natasha on the short trek to Sam’s guest bedroom on the second floor. The three of us were silent as we walked, the only sound was Sam’s rhythm-less humming as he pattered around the kitchen downstairs.

I pushed the door to my temporary room open and invited them inside.

“You can have some of my clothes, Natasha. Steve – maybe Sam will have something that can fit.” I said, looking anywhere but at them the entire. I opened my suitcase and rummaged through my belongings. I settled for lending Natasha a simple black tank and some athletic leggings I had brought in case I had to pretend to go running for Sam. I set the clothes on the bed and finally gazed at the both of them.

“We’ll be downstairs if you need anything,” I said and made my way towards the door. Before I could step out, a hand gripped my elbow.

It was Steve, of course. I kept my gaze downcast, but there was no denying that his blue eyes were watching me with a leveled stare. Was he waiting for me to look at him? I didn’t know if I could bear to do so. Natasha watched unabashedly behind us.

“It’s so good to see you again, Portia. Really.” Steve said. His words made my stomach feel all warm and I wanted to stomp the feeling away. Why was I feeling like this? After everything? How could he still have such an effect on me?

“It’s nice to see you too,” I mumbled and whipped around to walk away. Of course, I knew Steve let me. If he really was insistent on keeping me there, his grip would have never let me leave.

I half-ran into the kitchen where Sam was cooking some eggs on the stove.

“So, you and the Captain, huh?”

“Can we not talk about this? Please?”

“ _’It’s not every day you get to meet a superhero’_.” Sam said in a high-pitched tone, mimicking the words I had said a few days before. I groaned and stuck my head into his fridge, checking to see if there was anything else we could offer for breakfast.

“What happened between you two?” Sam continued on, completely ignoring my agony. “You do everything _not_ to look at him and he’s staring at you like you’re as naked as the day you were born. I think he’s in love with you, Cookie.”

I slammed the fridge shut and dropped a bag of berries on the dining table. “Please, Sam. Let’s not do this right now.”

Sam switched off the stove and walked over to where I was standing. He put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me with a most serious expression.

“Did he hurt you?”

“Of course not, he would never do anything like that.” I surprised myself with my immediate response. Despite everything that happened, I knew in my heart that Steve Rogers was a good man. In fact, he was one of the best. I was well aware of that – the pain came from not being able to do anything about it. I’ve suppressed my longing for him for months and almost succeeded at pushing every thought of him to the back of my head. Then he literally comes knocking on Sam’s door and I’m back at the beginning.

Sam’s lips quirked into a half smile. “Then what’s the problem?”

“Things didn’t end…that well. We didn’t fight, but it wasn’t happy. I just don’t know how to face him after everything.”

“You can start with actually looking at him.”

“I’m afraid I might do something stupid like burst out crying or something.”

“Best case scenario is you stop being stupid and have a hot make-out session right here in my kitchen.”

I resisted the urge to swat him. I didn’t want to be violent. “You’re so…weird.”

“That’s why I love teasing you. You’re just too nice to be mean to me.”

I rolled my eyes, but even I could tell it wasn’t giving the desired effect. I hated that he was right.

“Look, I’m not saying you should propose to the man the next time you see him. It’s just that – anyone could sense the electricity between you too. It’s so palpable – if it weren’t so fascinating, it would be disgusting. I’m 100% sure he and Natasha are talking about you right now. He’s probably listing every single thing he adores about you. Just talk to him, give him a chance.”

“I’m afraid of what might happen if I do.”

“Then that’s more than enough reason to do it.” Sam gave me a warm smile. “Now, help me cook up some bacon. I bet your man eats enough for four people or something. It’s the only explanation for how he can run like that.”

I shook my head and smiled at Sam’s antics. He was truly a ridiculous man.

We spent another half hour getting breakfast ready. Sam and I cooked up a storm of eggs, bacon, pancakes, and omelets. I was half-tempted to wave my fingers and try my hand at magicking everything finished, but I was never good with the domestic side of magic. I usually left that to Jhem and Jing.

“I’ll let them know everything’s ready then grab something from my room,” Sam said when we were done, wiping his hand on a washcloth.

“Okay, I’ll set the table,” I said amiably and started searching for his plates.

“Cabinet beside the dishwasher. Thanks, Cookie.” Sam left me to it and disappeared into the next room.

When I finished setting the table I started to clean up the stove area. I didn’t realize I was so immersed in the task until Steve spoke up.

“Need some help over there?”

I spun around too quickly for my liking, even letting out a surprised gasp. Steve looked at me, his lips twitching with amusement. I resisted the urge to scowl.

“Nope, I’m good, thank you. You should take a seat and dig in. There’s plenty of food. Where’s Natasha?” I questioned as I turned around to prepare for him a cup of coffee.

“Drying her hair,” Steve answered. His voice sounded closer. He wasn’t taking a seat as I suggested.

When I turned back around with his mug ready in my hand, he was closer than I anticipated. Much closer. I was so surprised, the coffee sloshed a little. He wrapped his hands over the one I had holding the cup to steady it.

We stood like that for a while – my back against the counter and Steve nearly pressing the entire length of his body against mine. It was almost too overwhelming for me. To go for months trying so hard not to think of him to have him so close I could barely breathe without inhaling his scent made my head spin. I kept my eyes focused on the tiled floor. I couldn’t think of what to do.

“Won’t you look at me, Porsh?”

I didn’t answer him and just kept looking down. He used the thumbs he had over my hands to draw circles in the inside of my wrists. I could hear my breathing getting faster. Damn it.

“I was coming back to you. I had it all planned, Porsh. I would wait for you on our bench and if you didn’t show, I’d find a way to your home. If everything with SHIELD didn’t happen, I was going to come back to you.” Steve told me in a tone so serious that I couldn’t help but look up at him. When our eyes met, something broke within me. They were still so blue. It was like nothing changed.

“Apparently, there are nice med schools in D.C. I thought it would be worthwhile to check them out,” I mumbled. I was being vague about it, but I was trying to say that at some point I was looking to seek him out as well. Even if I didn't know myself in the process. Steve’s answering grin was blinding.  

“The moment I left, I knew it was wrong. Leaving the way I did – without telling you what I felt. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left like that.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” I said. “I was the one who stopped speaking to you.”

“I understood. It was painful for me too. I didn’t want to leave you. Now, more than ever, I wish I stood up to SHIELD. But I couldn’t do it without giving you away. Your safety is more important to me than anything.”

Warmth. I just felt warm.

“I missed you,” he continued. “I thought about you every day. I thought I could forget you, but my mind only strove to remember you even more. I needed to be near you again.”

“Steve.” I didn’t know what to say. My mind could barely form coherent thoughts when he was looking at me like that.

“Portia.” He answered back with a smile that was almost teasing. Steve set the mug I had prepared for him down on the counter and leaned in closer to me. I could tell what was coming next.

“I dunno about you guys but I’m starv─oh! Sorry!”

Or maybe I didn’t. At the sound of Sam’s voice, I immediately flinched and quickly moved away from Steve and the counter. I could feel my cheeks heating up and I knew my face was flushing.

There was a shit-eating grin on Sam’s face. Natasha was there too, looking at both Steve and me with a telling smirk.

I plopped down on a seat at the dining table and refused to look at anyone.

Sam chuckled as he settled on the seat across me. He leaned over and whispered, “I did say you two needed to talk but _damn_ , Portia.”

I shut my eyes tightly. Sam was horrible. He was wretched. I should have just stayed in a hotel. I could have gone my whole life without this embarrassment.

A hand wrapped around mine and I opened my eyes to find Steve seated next to me. He was looking at me with a sort-of determined expression that I couldn’t quite place. Our shoulders were touching. He was sitting as close as he used to when we still met on our bench. He was showing off his affection plainly, not at all ashamed by the happenings from earlier. I didn’t know how he did it. For a moment, I was thrown back to when I first introduced him to my Kamar Taj friends. The natural way he handled himself around me in front of everyone put me at ease. Was he trying to do that here too?

“Bon Appetit, my guests,” Sam announced, the smile never once leaving his face.

We ate quietly. Sam and I ate slowly, not so subtly watching as Steve seemed to inhale the food before him. Natasha was no different, but she was a bit classier about it. I didn’t know where she placed all those pancakes she kept eating.

When we were finished, the four us remained in the kitchen. Steve and Natasha divulged a few details of what had gone on in SHIELD that led them to be on the run. Now, they were trying to figure out their next move.

Natasha got up to begin pacing, but Steve didn’t leave my side. He had my hand in his again, and the pad of his thumb was rubbing circles into my palm. He was trying to get back to how we were in New York. It should bother me but it didn’t. I didn’t know what that said about me, or about us. It confused me to no end. But Steve seemed so sure, as always.

Sam was off at the counter, grabbing an extra piece of bread and glazing it with butter. The Black Widow was decked out in the clothes I gave her, fitting the ensemble way better than I probably ever could.

“So, the question is who at SHIELD could launch a domestic missile strike?”

 “Pierce.” Steve answered, pausing his ministrations on my hand so he could rest his chin on his palm. The name was unfamiliar to me, but the interchange between the two superheroes did not cease.

“Who happens to be sitting atop the most secure building in the world,” Natasha responded.

“He’s not working alone. Zola’s algorithm was on the Lemurian Star,” Steve said without missing a beat.

Natasha took a second to think. “So is Jasper Sitwell.”

That made Steve give her some sort of look. Sam and I watched the exchange raptly. It seemed so normal and natural to the two Avengers, but it was mind-boggling for the both of us. Steve and Natasha continuously spoke about names and missions Sam and I knew nothing about. One thing was clear, though. SHIELD wasn’t the good-intentioned (if a little questionable) agency everyone thought it to be. Steve and Natasha were determined

“So the real question is how do the two most wanted people in Washington kidnap a SHIELD officer in broad daylight?”

Sam set his cutlery down. He seemed to have been waiting for this moment.

“The answer is – _you_ don’t,” Sam said and set a picture and a folder down on the table before Steve. I glanced at it. It was a photo of Sam and his partner, Riley, from his pararescue days, I recognized the uniform.

“What’s this?” Steve asked, leaning forward to peruse what Sam had placed before him.

Sam stepped back into an attentive stance. “Call it a resume.”

Natasha took the photo to get a good look at it, and the three talked about Sam’s missions. I listened with mild interest. As a medic, I was never too concerned about mission details. I just had to make sure the team made it out alive.

“I thought you said you were a pilot,” Steve said once he finished looking at what Sam handed him.

“I never said pilot.”

Steve shook his head. “I can’t ask you to do this. You got out for a good reason.”

“Dude, Captain America needs my help,” Leave it to Sam to be so nonchalant about all this. We were basically discussing an underground war in the capital of America here. “There’s no better reason to get back in.”

Steve nodded at that, seemingly accepting Sam’s proposal. “Where can we get our hands on one of these things?”

“The last one is at Fort Meade – behind three guarded gates and a 12-inch steel wall.”

Steve glanced at Natasha who only shrugged. I wanted to laugh at the exchange.

“Shouldn’t be a problem,” Steve declared easily.

“I could help,” I finally piped in. They all turned to face me. Perhaps they forgot I was even listening.

I saw Steve’s jaw immediately clench and I mentally prepared to argue my way into this. But it was Natasha who answered me. “How so?”

“You’ll want to be quiet about stealing the Falcon wings. I know a thing or two about laying low. It’s all in the electronics. I can use my laptop to get in Fort Meade’s security remotely. The three of you will handle the actual leg work, but I can take the weight of key cards and passcodes off your chest if you’ll let me. Things would also work a lot better if you guys had communicators, even crudely made ones. I can do it. I took up electronics in college.”

Natasha gave Steve an amused look then turned back to me. “Alright. You can heal people and you’re a hackerman. What else can you do?”

“I can give you a tarot reading. Steve bought me cards.” I smiled.

Natasha actually laughed. “I’ll take you up on that when all of this is over. You can tell me all about how you met Cap.” 

Once we formed a solid plan, everything came easily. Natasha and Steve were so used to this it was like second nature to them. I set up in Sam’s living room – it wasn’t much, just my laptop and Sam’s. Luckily, he also had enough random things lying around in his garage for me to make three passable communicators. While I worked on getting into the fort’s system, the three discussed their game plan for the actual footwork in the facility. Honestly, going hand to hand with soldiers and stealing from a government facility sounded rather intimidating to me but it was just another day for these three. By the time I was positioned nicely in the system with access to the surveillance footage and passwords, the three of them were decked out in their mission attire. It was a lot of black, which I completely approved of.

“Can’t do much about concealing these,” I said as I demonstrated how to attach a communicator on Sam’s ear. “I’m lucky that isn’t so important right now.”

“Thank you for doing this, Portia,” Steve said sincerely.

“Of course. I didn’t want to sit around waiting. That’s just not me,” I said. Natasha and Steve seemed to share a look at that. I wondered what it meant. Steve clapped me on the shoulder and murmured his own thanks.

“Let’s go, fellas.” Natasha bid and made her way to Sam’s garage. The former pararescue followed her, but Steve lingered.

“You don’t need to this. I know you’re taking a huge risk,” he began.

“Don’t say that. I want to do this. I know how to keep myself hidden. I can protect myself and help you at the same time,” I responded quietly. Steve gave me a smile, but he managed to make it look sad.

“I’m sorry. I never wanted you to get sucked into my world like this.”

I laughed. It sounded sick. “It’s a little too late for that, Steve. We both thought you leaving me was giving me an out. But here we are.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not.”

“Portia.” He was suddenly so close to me. If I leaned in, I could rest my head on his chest. It would be so easy. Just like old times. Just like New York.

I resisted.

“You should go. You still need to catch Sitwell after his lunch meeting. I’ll have his number by the time you guys return.”

Steve tucked a bunch of my hair behind my ear. “I’ll come back soon.”

“And I’ll be here.”

I suppressed a shudder as Steve pressed a kiss to my forehead. _Just like New York_.

The entire operation took around three hours. The drive to Maryland took less than an hour, and Sam made use of the time giving Steve an education in late 20th-century music. I fiddled around with the computerized schedules of the staff so that their vehicle was let through and no one was at the side entrance to hinder them. It was also pretty simple to guide the team through the rotation of the guards in the first gate so that they were able to slip through unnoticed.

However, the next gate had the guards permanently in place for another four hours. We didn’t have the time to wait for the next change. I shifted the surveillance camera so it was facing just a tad off from the view of the guards. I just hoped no one in the control room noticed. Natasha easily dispatched the two guards manning the gate. So far, so good.

The third gate was very similar. There was a bit of a fist fight and a struggle but I managed to disconnect all alarms that were alerted. Sam was very glad he had the opportunity to throw a punch. I checked in with the control room routinely. No one seemed to notice that anything was off. I would bet they were slacking on the job, even.

The grand finale was the steel wall Sam mentioned earlier. Cap could easily use his shield to break through it, but it wouldn’t be quiet. Still, time was of the essence. Alarms would be sounded anyways the moment the wings were taken from their storage unit. Those weren’t in the system, all the wiring was done electrically and not electronically. They would be seen, but I could make sure they wouldn’t be recognized on the surveillance footage later on. I gave them the go-signal when all the cameras were off-point. It was up to them to make their escape through the route we mapped out earlier. If all went well, half of the guards would be at the other side of the facility by the time the alarms sounded.

The plan went off without a hitch. Cap’s shield easily sliced through the steel and Sam quickly swiped the wings from its place. The three of them sprinted through the correct route out of the facility and into their vehicle in under 12 minutes. The entire fort was in chaos, the majority of the guards only arriving at the scene long after the fugitives sped away in their unmarked vehicle.

They took plenty of detours before arriving back at the house. When they returned, I had lunch and Sitwell’s number ready for the next part of the mission.

“That was awesome. I felt like an Avenger!” Sam exclaimed over lunch.

“We might have to offer you a place after all of this is over,” Steve said.

“If there will even anything left of SHIELD after we’ve weeded out HYDRA,” Natasha said while rolling her eyes.

We made quick work of our meal before the three left again to confront Jasper Sitwell after his meeting. I returned to my place on Sam’s couch and monitored the men’s movement, ready to update them for any drastic changes. The first part was largely a stakeout. Steve and Natasha would be in hiding on the roof of a building across the restaurant while Sam would be positioned in a nearby café to make a phone call. Natasha would be armed with a dangerous looking sniper gun. It was all very serious and a part of me was grateful to be left in Sam’s house.

Getting Agent Sitwell on the roof was almost too easy. I snorted at the man’s cowardice. Sam was way too excited about luring the double agent in. I managed to make it so that the phone call appeared to be coming from Pierce at first.

I wish I could have seen Natasha kick him off the roof in person – the camera footage probably didn’t do it justice. But I definitely could have gone without hearing the conversation Natasha and Steve shared afterward.

“I think I get why you didn’t want to go for that girl in Accounting. What was her name again? Laura? Laurel?”

“Lillian,” Steve provided.

“Right,” Natasha agreed. “I thought it was the lip piercing, but it wasn’t right? It was Portia.”

Steve just chuckled in response.

“But would you still be into her if she had a lip piercing?”

I interjected, “How about we focus on the HYDRA thing, guys?”

“Just so you know, Porsh, I’d definitely still be into you if you had a lip piercing.”

I let my groan sound through the comms. Was this really the time?

“Pathetic,” Natasha snickered.

Seeing Sam in action was amazing, the wings were like an extension of him. Sitwell’s confession about Zola’s algorithm shook me to the core. It was as if they pulled ideas from every AI-wary article ever and created a program out of it. It was Google tracking and predicting your life, and deciding whether or not you got to live or die.

“Can you do anything about the launching of Insight? Stop it? Delay it?” Natasha spoke to me through the comms. They were all very careful about never mentioning my name in the presence of Sitwell.

“I’m afraid we don’t have enough time. SHIELD’s a little more high-tech than Fort Meade, guys. They copy every single thing Tony Stark has ever put into his security system. Unless you can give him a call or something, I’m gonna need a bit more time.”

“Keep at it, we don’t need to pull more people in. We can handle this,” Steve decided. I didn’t know how close he was to his teammates. His interactions with Banner the first time I met the doctor were friendly but a bit detached. Steve was very concerned about Clint’s well-being, but I’m sure he would feel the same about anyone. Natasha, with her teasing and quips, seemed closest to him. I hoped for Steve’s sake that she was a true friend. At the very least, it seemed like he trusted her completely.

Their plan for using Sitwell to bypass SHIELD’s system was abruptly ruined by a sudden attack. Sitwell was abducted from the vehicle and thrown to the other side of the highway. I wasn’t watching out for their car – too busy trying to hack into SHIELD, so I missed it. A man with a metal arm literally took the steering wheel from Sam and caused the three of them to jump out. Almost immediately after, a fight ensued on the highway. There were the one assassin and a handful of other vehicles joining in the fray.

Everything was happening too fast. I was struggling to keep up. I tapped into the cameras in the area as fast as I could to watch the fight progress. I watched with bated breath as Steve was blasted off the highway and more shots were fired.

I had to do something. But short of portaling there and somehow grabbing the three of them without getting shot then portaling back – what could I do? I was undecided. I didn’t know where I was needed most.

The gun battle went on for several minutes. For a while, I was only watching Natasha fight off the attackers. I couldn’t spot any sign of Steve or Sam.

I watched the fight on one screen while furiously searching through any of the accessed files from SHIELD for anything about the attackers on the other. Eventually, Steve shot out of the bus he had fallen into and Sam somehow managed to get a gun to cover Cap as he fought off the other men on the ground.

“Portia? Can you hear me?”

“Natasha! Are you alright?”

“Don’t worry about that. Listen, I need you to keep an eye on the one with a metal arm and tell me where he goes at all times. They call him the Winter Soldier.”

“Okay, I’ll keep you posted.”

I gave Natasha a second by second play of where the soldier was. The communicators of the other two were offline. I tried not to worry too much and kept an eye on them through the cameras too. My screens were split into smaller ones – I hoped it wouldn’t overload the system. Natasha was quick on her feet. It didn’t take her long to trick the Winter Soldier with a recording of her voice and go head to head with him. I couldn’t imagine how she managed to fit so many useful gadgets on her person. She took a few hits, but she was able to temporarily fizz out the soldier’s metal arm. But that didn’t last for too long.

“ _Natasha_!” I screamed into the comms when I saw her get shot straight through the shoulder.

If I closed my eyes and focused, I could portal to be right beside her. I’ve never been to the area where they were fighting before, but I knew I could do it. I had enough motivation to open a portal there. The Winter Soldier was nearing, he was going to finish the job.

But that’s when Steve intervened.

Their fight was intense. It was hard to see at times through the footage from street cameras, but I couldn’t steer my eyes away from the sight. Both of their skills were on par with each other. Whenever I thought one of them was overpowering the other, the tables turned almost right away.

Something seemed to shift when the assassin’s mask was thrown off and Steve got a real first look at him. Steve seemed to recognize him.

Using the footage, I ran a search of the assassin’s face through several search engines. I came up with one clear answer.

It was James Buchanan Barnes. That’s why Steve recognized him.

While Steve was still recovering from the shocking realization of who he had been fighting, Sam and Natasha retaliated in their own way. A quick look at the camera footage notified me to the incoming back-up cars.

This time, I didn’t stop to think anymore. Comms were down, there were more opponents on the way, and the three didn’t have a way out. What kind of person would I be if I left them when I could have helped them?

I looked out the window then closed my eyes and portaled into the car of one of Sam’s neighbors. I hoped they were nice people and wouldn’t mind too much if I borrowed it. It took a few seconds to figure out, but I managed to use my magic to hotwire the car and get it going. Luckily, no one seemed to be home.

I drove with increasing speed down the street and shut my eyes tightly. I envisioned the area where the three of them were fighting. I could do this. I could go to them. No problem.

I slipped on my Sling Ring and let go of the steering wheel.

I thought of Sam and Natasha. I thought of Steve. I opened a portal and hit the gas.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I managed to add Portia into the story well. Her confusion about Steve definitely confuses me sometimes too. Luckily for her, it seems like Steve hasn't been so sure about anything else in his life. Will post the next part soon. Thanks for reading!


	6. IV - The Winter Soldier: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s time for me to go now,” I said. The air of finality was evident enough for Steve to pull on an alarmed expression despite his busted eye.
> 
> “Portia?” Steve was reaching out for me. I didn’t let him take my hand.
> 
> “I’ll tell the others you’re here. But I need to leave. It was an honor to fight by your side. I was right, you did do the right thing in the end. You always do.”
> 
> “Portia, I don’t understand.” He was trying to sit up again. I was backing away from him. He knew he wouldn’t be able to catch me.
> 
> “This has to be goodbye, Steve. I’m sorry.”
> 
> “Portia!” Cough. “Don’t leave! You can’t leave.”
> 
> I sighed and looked away. There were tears in my eyes. “I have to.”

I ended up a few streets away from the center of the fight. I hit the gas and sped towards where the three of them were gathered.

The vehicle screeched to a stop and I shot my head out of the window.

“Come on! We have to go now!” I yelled at the three. Only Sam moved immediately. He managed to round up a still-shocked Steve and support an injured Natasha into the car. The moment he slammed the door shut the SHIELD cars arrived. I hit the pedal and drove away. The cars followed rapidly, inching closer by the second.

“Tell me where to go!” I was still yelling. Only Sam seemed capable of coherent thought right now, and he was at a loss as well.

“Give me ─  _duck!_ ” Shots fired through the back windshield of the car and I made a sharp turn into some random lane. I let go of the steering wheel once more and opened another portal to Ancient One knows where. I desperately hoped the SHIELD agents didn’t see it.

We ended up only a few streets away, and I was starting to feel drained.

“What the hell was that?!” Sam exclaimed. Even Natasha looked alarmed. Only Steve remained silent, but he was largely catatonic.

“It won’t be long until they find us again. Tell me where to go!” I insisted.

None of them had an opportunity to answer. A van drove straight into the hood of the car. A woman rolled down the window and yelled for us to get in.

“She’s a friendly,” Natasha groaned out. It had to be good enough. There was no telling how close the SHIELD convoy was. I quickly jumped out of the car and Sam got out and supported Natasha’s weight. Steve was awake enough to get out too, and quickly rounded the car so he was next to me. He pulled me closer by my waist before directing me to the van. Once we were all settled in, the woman sped off (hopefully, to somewhere safe).

“Do you have first aid?” Sam questioned the driver urgently as we sped through the streets of Washington. So far, no one was tailing us.

“There should be a kit at the side there,” the woman answered without turning back to face us.

“Leave it to me,” I said, feeling a little bit more recovered from the bursts of portaling.

My hands still felt shaky but I began the healing process on Natasha once more. I hoped it wouldn’t become routine. Gunshot wounds were a little more complicated than bruises, but I managed anyway. The others watched me raptly and silently, even the driver glanced every once in a while through the rear-view mirror. Thankfully, the bullet wasn’t lodged in the redhead’s side so I could immediately get started on healing the wound. I coaxed Natasha’s skin to repair itself with some finger gestures and the spy couldn’t hold back a wince. I shot her an apologetic look and tried to continue in a way that brought her as little pain as possible. The whole effort made my brow line with sweat.

I leant back with a gasp when I finished, feeling completely wiped out. But Natasha was as good as new.

“So you guys pick up a bird and a magic healer. Care to make introductions, Agent Romanoff, Cap?”

“Bird’s Sam Wilson. Former pararescue. Magician’s Por─”

Steve interrupted Natasha, suddenly looking incredibly focused. At the same time, he wrapped my wrist in a tight grip. “She’s a need-to-know only, Agent Hill. I have to insist.”

Agent Hill made a sound that implied that she didn’t quite believe him.

I tried not to let it get to me. Steve’s actions were telling. This woman was surely high up in SHIELD intelligence. And she couldn’t be trusted to keep my identity a secret. For sure she knew about the healing. That in itself was making me anxious already. There was no telling if she saw the portal.

I felt my breath getting faster. I should have stopped to think. I just jeopardized everything. In a span of one day, I ruined everything my family has worked to protect for hundreds of years. Now SHIELD or whoever the woman worked for would know who I was and what I could do. I knew this would happen. I knew I was right to let Steve go the way he did. It was the smart choice.

It was over. I was done for.

Steve’s grip on my wrist tightened even further. He wasn’t saying a word, but I knew what he was trying to convey. The turmoil I was feeling must have been plain on my face. After everything, he was still trying to protect me.

We fell silent once more. In that period, I tried to get my breathing back to normal. It wouldn’t do to freak out now. I could escape anytime I wanted. That thought comforted me. But I didn’t want to leave Steve, not in the middle of this. And I couldn’t just up and leave Sam as I did four years ago. Even Natasha grew on me already, and we’ve only known each other for less than a day. I had to stay.

It took a while, but Steve finally spoke about what he saw. He finally put the experience of seeing Bucky again into words. It was my turn to hold his hand.

“It was him. He looked right at me. He didn’t even know me.”

“How’s that even possible? It was like seventy years ago,” said Sam.

“Zola. Bucky’s old unit was captured in ’43. Zola experimented on them. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall. They must have found him.”

“None of that’s your fault, Steve,” Natasha said immediately. I gripped Steve’s hand tighter in agreement. The tension didn’t leave his body.

“Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky.”

The van shuddered to a stop. We were at some kind of hideout. Its entryway was disguised as a part of the bridge. The four of us stood close to each other as Agent Hill led the way. Although she was completely healed, Natasha still walked shakily on her feet. Her mind was still convinced that she was severely injured. I tried to give her an encouraging smile.

The compound was lighted by long glowing bulbs. There was a man running towards us, but Agent Hill looked to me.

“Do you still have some of that healing magic left? There’s someone I know who could use your help.”

Steve scowled at her, but I nodded cautiously.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“I’ll take them to him,” Agent Hill informed the man – a doctor, it seemed – who had ran up to us. They led the way further inside. I was twitchy. I fiddled with my Sling Ring. One sign of danger and I would be gone. But a part of me couldn’t bear to leave now. I felt like things weren’t finished just yet.

We were led to an area that was set up like an infirmary. There was only one patient, and he was staring right at us. The four of us stopped a few paces before his bed. Steve and Natasha both had surprised looks on their faces. They knew the man lying on the bed. Shockingly, so did I. He visited the Coo & Co. head office one time a few years back. Imogen had pointed him out to me. You don’t exactly forget a man with an eyepatch.

“About damn time.”

It was Nick Fury.

Agent Hill wanted me to reveal my powers to the  _Director of SHIELD_.

I resisted the urge to back away.

Agent Hill handed me a clipboard with the doctor’s notes on Director Fury’s condition. “Can you do anything for him?”

“We’re not doing anything.” Steve plucked the clipboard from my hands. It was neither the time nor the place, but my heart still warmed at Steve’s use of ‘we’.

“You’re Portia Coo aren’t you? Chairwoman of Coo & Co.?” Director Fury asked. My insides dropped and my eyes widened. This time, I did take that step back.

“No offense, but you didn’t even finish med school. I doubt you’d be able to fix all of this,” Fury continued, struggling slightly as he gestured to himself.

He knows who I am.

I’m going to die. Wendy is going to die. The Blessing would be lost to us. I failed my family.

My heart was racing quicker than it ever had before. If Fury wasn’t going to get me killed, then panic would.

“You’d be lucky if she even raised a finger for you,” Sam bit out. Right. It seemed Fury didn’t know about my powers yet. That was a tiny comfort. If I wanted things to remain that way, I had to get a little more creative with getting out of here.

“Why so snarky? I don’t even know who the fuck you are, son.”

“I shouldn’t be here,” I whispered, but I was sure everyone could hear me. But I couldn’t portal of here, not when I knew they would be watching me. It was a small blessing that they didn’t seem to know yet just what I could do. I mean, Agent Hill saw what I did for Natasha in the van but maybe they would be too busy fixing this SHIELD thing to really deal with it until later. That gave me enough time to get Wendy and run off. I still had a chance. I just had to get out of here.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Coo. That’s about the extent of what I know of you. Cap here went through all the trouble to keep you off the grid, so I stopped prying. Lady, you made him learn how to mess with all cameras and bugs we had planted in his apartment. Seems he’s real serious about you, so I let it go. I’m respectful like that.” Either he really was clueless about my abilities, or he was lying through his teeth. This guy was a super spy. I didn’t know what to think.

“Please,” Agent Hill interjected, stepping towards me. “It’s not over yet. We need everyone to be in top condition. Can you help him?”

Suddenly, Steve was in front of me, stopping Agent Hill from getting any closer. “Not another inch, agent.” His tone was deadly and serious. I was almost afraid of him. The two exchanged shots back in forth, eventually drawing Natasha and Fury back into the conversation as they discussed the situation. From what I gathered, SHIELD betrayed its director too. Steve’s world was full of secrets. I wondered how he could be so honest and sincere.

I tried to think about everything objectively. There was an injured man on the bed and he was in deep pain. I could see it in the way he talked. It also helped that he listed every injury he incurred when SHIELD tried to get him killed.

I was already exhausted from driving a vehicle through portals and fixing up Natasha’s wounds. Fury’s injuries were grave and extensive. I knew I could help him, it would just take more time and energy out of me. But then he would know about me. The effort I’d spend healing him would leave me completely vulnerable afterward. He was free to do what he wanted with me after, and I wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it. Sure, Steve would never let anything happen to me, but that would mean I would be on the run forever. It wasn’t just me, it was Wendy too.

I thought about the look on Agent Hill’s face when she pleaded with me to help him. She said Fury was essential to taking down HYDRA, but I could sense an element of a personal stake there. I didn’t know what their relationship was but she definitely cared for him. No one liked to see someone they cared about in pain.

Someone was hurt. I could help.

Shouldn’t the choice be obvious then?

Without speaking, I moved around everyone and went straight for Fury. Everyone quieted, and the man used his one eye to look at me suspiciously. Here goes nothing.

I waved my hand and brought up his vitals. The gold representation of his body was splattered with lots of red points. This wouldn’t be an easy fix.

“What in the world are you doing, Coo?”

“Something not so wise, I think,” I murmured then cleared my mind. This wasn’t Nick Fury. I wasn’t surrounded by SHIELD agents. It was just healer and her patient.

It was difficult patching him up, but it was easy to ignore how everyone stared on with dumbfounded and surprised expressions. When I erased everyone’s identity, everything came naturally. Fury’s injuries were life-threatening, but whatever doctor they found before me did a good job at stabilizing him. What I could do now was speed up the healing process.

It wasn’t as simple as fixing Steve up after a mission or patching up one gunshot wound. Nick Fury didn’t have Super Serum in him, and he wasn’t the youngest person around. It took a lot of coaxing of his cells on my part. I encourage their growth so that his skin would heal. I made sure his organs were renewed. The process wasn’t painless. I always did my best to absorb a patient’s pain. It helped ease their mind into the sudden shift in state. But I wouldn’t be able to do it for Fury. If I took on his pain, I wouldn’t be able to do more for him. He just had to endure for a few moments more. I’m sure he could take it.

I underestimated just how spent I was. His injuries were largely healed, but it was in no state to go dancing around just yet. I couldn’t give him a complete fix. I could pass out, and then where would I be? I hated myself for my inability to be selfless. I couldn’t let go of my instinct to survive.

I stumbled back when I did all I was capable of. My exhaustion went bone deep. I felt like I couldn’t even stand on my own anymore. Steve and Sam were there to keep me steady.

“You just made what would have taken 6 weeks at the very least to heal go away in less than 30 minutes,” said the resident doctor as he examined Fury. The director was looking at me like I was a new and peculiar animal.

The doctor turned to me “You’re amazing.”

I laughed at that. Even laughing made me hurt. “That’s very nice of you to say, doctor.”

“You’re something else, Coo. Thank you. I feel a thousand times better,” Fury said directly to me. He was trying to convey something with his look. There was something akin to newfound respect. “You don’t need a paper to tell you you’re a doctor.”

“You owe it to her to keep this a secret,” Cap said with an air of finality.

“Do you see me running off to tattle to the World Security Council, Rogers? Don’t be a fool. I know how to pay a debt.” He moved to get up. “You take this bed, Coo. You like you’re going to drop dead. I have a feeling we’re going to need you in the next few hours. Rest up. As for the rest of us, we’ve got some work to do.”

I wanted to refuse, but I simply did not have the energy to do so. Besides, it seemed like Steve agreed as well. He had no qualms about setting me down on the bed Fury just vacated.

“We won’t be far,” Steve assured me as he brushed my hair back. “Get some sleep. Even for just five minutes.”

“I’ll keep an eye on her,” the doctor promised.

My eyes felt heavy the moment my head laid against the pillow. There was no fighting it. I couldn’t remember the last time I used so much energy to heal someone. Was it Clint? I couldn’t…I couldn’t quite put my finger on it…

* * *

 

“You’ve been asleep for less than an hour, Ms. Coo, please,” the doctor protested as I pushed myself out of bed. I was still so tired, but I didn’t feel so helpless anymore.

“It’s enough. It has to be. Trust me,” I patted the man on the shoulder, even giving him a little energy boost. That seemed to shock him enough to cease trying to stop me.

“Were you born with it?” he questioned as I tried to steady my footing. “Your abilities?”

“My _bàba_ said I was blessed,” I said, even smiling a little at the pun only I would understand. I had no idea who this guy was. I didn’t even know his name.

I limped my way around the compound, refusing the doctor’s assistance. Eventually, I was able to shake him off when he realized I couldn’t be reasoned with. It didn’t take too long for me to pick up on the sound of Fury’s voice and follow it.

“We have to assume everyone aboard those carriers is HYDRA. To get past them, insert these server blades, and maybe, just maybe, we can salvage wha─”

Steve interrupted fury immediately. “We’re not salvaging anything. We’re not just taking down the carriers, Nick, we’re taking down SHIELD.”

“SHIELD had nothing to do with this,” Fury protested.

Steve looked up at my arrival and spared me a glance. The others turned to look at me too. Still, the Captain continued. “You gave me this mission. This is how it ends. SHIELD’s been compromised, you’ve said so yourself. HYDRA grew right under your nose and nobody noticed.”

“Why do you think we’re meeting in this cave? I noticed.” Fury retorted.

“How many paid the price before you did?”

“Look, I didn’t know about Barnes,” Fury admitted.

“Even if you had, would you have told me? Or would you have compartmentalized that too?” The pain of betrayal was clear on Steve’s face, there was no mistaking it. I wanted to go up to him and comfort him somehow. But now was not the time. If we didn’t move, there might never be a time for it. “SHIELD, HYDRA – it all goes.”

“He’s right,” Agent Hill surprised me by agreeing with Steve.

Natasha only gave Fury a sharp look. It was clear whose side she was on.

When Fury turned to Sam, the former pararescue shrugged. “Don’t look at me. I do what he does, just slower.”

Then Fury turned to me. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he knew I was there.

“When I was healing you, I felt your pain. You’ve been fighting everybody, including the pain within you. Is that really something that needs to be saved?” The words flowed out of me easily, it surprised me.

We all looked to Fury.

“Well.” Fury fixed Steve with a hard stare. “Looks like you’re giving the orders now, Captain.”

From there, it was planning until the early morning. We all caught a few minutes of sleep here in there, but a lot of time was spent poring over layouts of the SHIELD headquarters and guard routines. With Agent Hill’s help, I was able to set up a system that was far more efficient than what I had been using in Sam’s place. She knew just how to get into the system and they had real communicators and other spy gadgets I thought only existed in the movies. In plain view for everyone to see, I accessed the file they had on me. It was just like Fury said – he only knew about my job and my education. Still, I deleted all digital traces of the file in the system. It would have to do for now.

I seemed to have impressed Fury enough with my technical skills because he had no problem putting me on comms and surveillance duty. I was to be the eyes and ears of the operation. Hill was going to perform a similar role in the field with Steve and Sam.

In the downtime I had waiting for the computers to load and set-up, Steve settled next to me.

“I don’t think I’ve thanked you yet. Thank you, Portia.”

“Will everything be worth it in the end?” I asked.

Steve sighed. “I really hope so.”

I allowed myself to lean against him. He immediately moved his arm so he could wrap it around me. I closed my eyes and savored the comfort of his embrace. When we were like this, I could pretend we were on our bench in the park. It was getting easier to admit that I did miss Steve immensely. I felt incomplete ever since he left. Our time together in New York changed me, no matter how hard I tried to fight it. It was hard to see how we could be separated again after knowing this. I didn’t know if I could accept it should it ever happen.

“I wish we could be together like this all the time,” I said to him quietly. It was just the two of us in the meeting room now.

“If we live, we’ll do this properly. I promise.” I could hear the determination in Steve’s voice.

“It’s not that simple, Steve.”

He pulled away to really look at me. I found that I could look at him eye to eye. His eyes were just as blue as the day we first met. “It can be. I want this, Portia.”

Steve pressed soft kisses on my knuckles, his eyes trained on mine the entire time.

I smiled at him fondly and brushed my fingers through his hair. “My Captain.”

He returned my smile and pressed another kiss to my forehead. We leaned back against the wall and each other. I thought about what Steve said. The way we were in New York had always been enough. We never talked about  _us_  that way but it was good. Was there really a possibility of it getting better from there? If we did things properly as Steve said, would it work out?

“Have you seen the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian yet?”

I turned to him and raised a brow. “I did my best to avoid anything that had to do with you. It didn’t really help when Sam was gushing about you during my first morning in D.C.”

Steve chuckled. “What do you say you and I take a trip there?”

“Right now? You should be getting rest. Big day tomorrow and all.”

“We’ll be quick. There’s something I need to grab. It’s for the mission.”

I looked at him uncertainly but nodded anyway. “Okay.”

“Do you know where the Smithsonian is? Do you think you can portal us there?”

“Now you have me suspecting that you’re just nice to me because you want to use my powers.” I pouted at him and it didn’t help when Steve barked out a loud laugh.

He shifted his face closer to mine. “Nah, I keep you around for other reasons, doll,” he said fondly and thwacked my nose.

“Steve!” I protested and he was having a hard time controlling his laughter.

Still, I found myself being hauled up to my feet by him. I slipped my Sling Ring back on and opened a portal at a concealed point at the side of the museum. The act left me a little breathless, the effects of healing Nick Fury and checking up on him the past few hours still lingering. Having Steve at my side, though, made me feel a little lighter.

Steve was broke into a side entrance easily and ushered both of us in without tripping any alarms with no intervention whatsoever from me. He was able to disable the electronic security system. For someone so large, he moved really silently. I had to consciously put my foot down gently with every step, but it was like second nature to him. He already knew the way and led me to the Captain America exhibit. This time, he asked for my help in meddling with the surveillance cameras as we couldn’t keep traveling in blind spots from this point on. When I sorted things out, we walked boldly into the space.

I found myself reading through the exhibits quickly. Everything around me was about Cap and his time in the military back in World War II. I even took the time to read the section dedicated to Bucky. I tried to connect the memory of the beloved friend to the soldier the other three encountered yesterday. It was difficult to reconcile the two.

I was only brought out from my examinations when I finally noticed that Steve was stripping one of the mannequins.

“What are you doing?” I whispered urgently. There could be guards lurking about. It didn’t hurt to be quiet.

“If you’re going into war, you have to be in uniform,” was Steve’s excuse for taking the poor mannequin’s outfit and dignity. He had the good nature to cover the thing’s private parts with the makeshift shield. I shook my head in amusement.

Steve accomplished what he needed to do in under five minutes and held onto my arm as we portaled back to the underground compound. Fury was in the room and actually jumped at our arrival.

“We’re going to have to start considering your abilities when it comes to security, Coo.”

“Don’t worry, director. I don’t make it a point to reveal them all the time.”

A few hours later, it was finally time for the real show. Natasha was already in place with her disguise. The poor woman from the World Security Council was being kept unconscious in an apartment building a few blocks away from the SHIELD facility. Steve, Sam, and Agent Hill were going in next. Fury would find a way in as soon as possible. I was to remain in the hideout. My job was to mess with the tech and find a way to delay the launch. The latter was proving to be difficult as SHIELD had enough foresight to upload it on another system even Agent Hill didn’t know how to tap into.

Before they stepped out, I caught Steve for one last exchange.

I held his hands in mine, the same way he had done for me many times before. “I know you’ll always fight for the right thing. I trust you.”

Steve gathered me into a tight hug and whispered into my ear “I’m glad you’re here. Remember what I promised.”

From there, events unfolded very quickly.

It was very easy for everyone to get into SHIELD, it was almost laughable. Steve’s speech was lovely. Still, the Hydra side of the agency seemed to have a plan for this. There was inner conflict amongst the agents, agent turning against agent. It was very difficult to keep track of it all and simultaneously advise my five people in the field. Natasha still seemed to have a good grip on things, but there was no telling for how long it would remain so. Agent Hill was able to connect to me once she got a complete hold of the control room.

“They’re initiating launch.” Her voice sounded very calm, I didn’t understand how she could be when the launch was advancing almost too fast for us to catch up.

“Bad guys a hundred meters away, Cap,” I said through the comms as Steve jumped down onto the first carrier. He fought off the men with ease. Sam was caught up in heavy fire, but he was dodging every shot. Then Natasha decided it was time to reveal herself in the room with Pierce.

“8 minutes, Cap,” Hill informed Steve. He and Sam were still fighting off the defenses on the first Helicarrier.

“Working on it.”

“They’re assembling on an airstrip, Hill. Are they with us?” I asked, sending over footage of one of the airstrips were planes were being prepped.

“I hope so.”

Natasha did an unexpected move and uploaded all of SHIELD’s and HYDRA’s files onto the internet. It was smart. If we failed here today, SHIELD still wouldn’t be able to return to its former glory. That also meant that everyone’s secrets – including this team’s – would be laid out for everyone with an internet connection to see. I was glad I wiped myself from the system when I did. There was no turning back now.

Steve locked in the first card. After a quick detour, Falcon – Sam’s new moniker – locked in the second card as well.

“Two down, one to go,” Agent Hill announced.

My mind went blank as I watched the surveillance footage of the airstrip. The Winter Soldier was there, singlehandedly disarming and killing every single person there to make sure no one would be able to assist Cap in the sky. All those people – dead in a moment. How could anyone live with so much blood on their hands? What happened to Steve’s loyal friend?

I shook my head.

“The Winter Soldier has just killed everybody on the airstrip. He’s heading for you guys,” I said urgently into the comms. Sam cursed, but the other two didn’t say a word.

“Fury is landing in 30 seconds,” I said to Natasha.

“Safeguard’s removed,” I confirmed when both Fury and Secretary Pierce went through the retinal scanner. “Hill, you’ve got incoming.”

She took care of it easily. I probably didn’t even need to tell her about them. “6 minutes.”

I couldn’t help but laugh when Sam yelled out as he lifted Steve from free fall.

“You know, you’re a lot heavier than you look.”

“I had a big breakfast.”

Too late, I spotted movement from their side. “Cap, Falcon, watch o─”

Even with his wings, Sam was no match for the Winter Soldier.

I didn’t think I could open a portal for someone else from this distance and falling at that speed. I watched helplessly through the footage as Sam spiraled down. Luckily, his parachute was functional.

“I’m grounded. Suit’s down. Sorry, Cap.”

“I can help,” I said, already standing up. “I can get there. I can see it from here─”

“ _No_ ,” Steve said a little too harshly. “It’s alright. I got this. Let me do this. Trust me.”

“Okay,” I agreed quietly.

“Falcon? Rumlow’s heading for the council,” said Agent Hill.

As Sam dealt with Rumlow and Steve faced his former best friend in a heartbreaking battle, my fingers flew furiously against the keyboard. I had to figure out a way to take down the last carrier even if Steve didn’t manage to get the card in on time. The other two carriers were already compromised, it should be simple enough to mimic it right?

Wrong.

I tried everything while simultaneously watching as the battles raged on.

Everything seemed to be going awry at the same time. Steve dropped the card 20 meters down. Pierce attached some kind of weapon on each of the council members’ suits. Natasha had succeeded in leaking all of the files, but her life was still in danger. I opened another set of screens to try to disable that too, but that was a whole other step above tapping into surveillance footage. I kept at it.

There were 60 seconds left on the clock. Sam was in a fistfight with Rumlow. Pierce had gained back control of the room – Natasha and Fury watching helplessly. I did my best by messing with SHIELD’s comms, but there was no stopping Insight. Steve was struggling to get the card in but the Winter Soldier shot Steve at every move. Steve sustained three shots.

I had to do more. I was no help to any of them here.

“Don’t you dare come here, Porsh,” Steve grunted out through the comms, knowing too well what I wanted to do. Even in his time of need, he was thinking about my safety. “He will kill you – you understand? Don’t come here, you hear me?!”

They were deploying Insight. Hill and I watched as the program chose its targets. As far as I could tell, my face wasn’t on the roster.

I closed my eyes and prayed to every god and deity I knew. God. Agamatto. Even the Ancient One. I prayed that Steve would get put in the card in time.

He did. Right at the moment Insight was about to launch.

One of my screens pinged. My decryption successfully broke through Pierce’s weapon.

“Agent Romanoff, Director Fury – Pierce’s weapon is offline,” I whispered through their comms.

“Okay, Cap, get out of there,” Hill ordered. The both of us quickly worked to get the program offline permanently – by destroying the carriers.

“Fire now.”

My stomach dropped.

“But, Steve─” Hill protested.

“ _Do it!_ Do it now!”

I couldn’t speak. Steve knew what he was doing. I had to trust him.

He promised. But I had to trust him.

Agent Hill fired.

The footage went out first. I had no way of knowing if Steve would survive the explosion. His comms were out too.

Natasha fried herself to distract Pierce. Fury killed him. I’ve seen so many deaths today. What was one more? (It was still everything.) Thankfully, Natasha came to it. But now we had another problem.

There was a helicarrier about to crash in the building Sam was in.

“You guys need to get into a chopper right now. Falcon’s going to need an extraction ASAP.”

“What?! What was that?!” Sam exclaimed in middle of his fistfight.

“Stay alive!” I yelled into his comms.

The Helicarrier crashed into the building. Natasha was yelling at Sam, asking where to find him. He jumped out of the crashing building and just barely landed into the chopper, only holding on to Natasha’s hand before he almost made another drop to the ground.

“Hill, Porsh – where’s Steve? We got a location on Rogers?” questioned Natasha into the comms. I remained silent while Hill replied a negative. None of us knew where he was and it was making me feel sick with worry.

But he promised.

We spent several fruitless minutes searching for him but to no avail. We wouldn’t be able to resume our search until the destruction cleared up. I hated that there was nothing we could do. I had screens of footage of everyone within a 10-mile radius. If Steve was thrown off, I should be able to pick up on it. But I wasn’t seeing anything.

Until I did.

There was a figure on the banks of the Potomac dragging up somebody from the water. It was the Winter Soldier and Captain America. Bucky and Steve. I didn’t say a word about it on the comms. I breathed in and focused. I didn’t realize it properly before but I was so in tune with Steve and his energy. We had known each other for almost two years and forged a special bond. This is a common phenomenon. People formed bonds every day, but not everyone knew just how tangible these relationships were. I knew Steve was feeling the bond on some level. It explained why we were able to return to each other so easily back to how we were. As a master of the Mystic Arts, I could actually use the bond. It connected me to him.

I focused on Steve’s energy – flickering and yet still so strong – and portaled to where he was.

In that moment, I realized I would follow my Captain anywhere.

The Winter Soldier was visibly shaken at my arrival, going as far as to point a gun at me but I paid him no mind. I only had eyes for Steve. I got on my knees and brought up his vitals. I nearly burst into tears when everything came out red.

My hands knew him. Healing Steve didn’t feel forced or like a conscious choice. It was just natural to me. His body responded well, the serum and our bond with my magic in harmony. I saw for myself just how attuned we were to each other. How did I believe I could ever let him leave me?

“Everything will be just fine, Steve. I promise,” I said as I paused long enough to run my fingers through his hair. I eased the wrinkles marring his forehead.

The Winter Soldier –  _Bucky –_ was still there, watching me as I worked. In the middle of it, I looked up and looked straight at him.

“Just give me time to take care of him. I can help you too. Just stay. Steve would like that.”

I expected him to get angry at me. To shoot me. To run away. I didn’t expect him to speak to me.

“What you’re doing is useless,” he bit out. “You’ll save him now only for him to risk his life again later. The whole world will know who you are and what you can do and they will want you. He can’t do a thing to protect you. Get out of it while you still can.”

I was confused. Didn’t Bucky just save Steve from drowning?

“HYDRA knew all about you – what you can do,  _why_  you can do it. We moved him and you would have been my next mission. You’re just too good at hiding.”

I couldn’t say anything. My eyes went wide and I felt myself going cold. But the files…the files had nothing on me. They didn’t say anything of worth about me. Why would they try to kill me?

“You think you’re safe? The moment he made it clear he cared about you, you became a target. And when HYDRA dug a little further, they saw something dangerous. Your love for him will get you killed. Understand that and maybe you’ll survive. Or maybe I’ll kill you right now.”

I found that it wasn’t death I was afraid of.

“If you kill me right now, then Steve will die too. You don’t want that. You saved him from the river. You don’t want him to die,” I insisted pleadingly. Bucky stared at me with a searching expression.

He didn’t say another word. He just turned and left. I didn’t chase after him.

I resumed my work on Steve, but Bucky’s words clouded my thoughts.

I wasn’t foolish enough to believe that this marked the end of HYDRA. What was it they said about the actual creature? Cut off one head, and two will grow in its place. They wouldn’t put all their eggs in one basket. HYDRA didn’t just exist here in D.C. If someone like Bucky – a person who was treated like a weapon or an asset – knew more about me than Fury did, then who knew who else had something on me?

They knew I lived in New York. They never found out where I lived. But they knew where I worked. It wouldn’t be so hard for them to find out about Wendy too.

I failed in keeping us safe. I was ready to give up everything to be with Steve – but I was reminded just what giving up meant.

It meant the death of my family. It meant the death of the Blessings. The very same Blessings that allowed me to save Steve’s life right now. 

I looked down at him. His injuries were even worse than Fury’s was. The gunshot wounds were healing well, but Bucky was a good match for him. He did quite a number on Steve. It would take time for him to heal. But I was comforted with the knowledge that he was no longer at the risk of dying. He would heal. I did all I could for him.

I felt my eyes pool with tears again. I knew I said I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him, but I had to choose Wendy’s safety and the safety of the Blessings.

His eyes opened. Still so blue.

“Portia?” he groaned out, trying to sit up.

“Shhh,” I shushed him and gently pushed his chest down so that he was laying on the ground again. “Don’t try to move. You’re hurt.”

“Wha’ happ’n?” His busted lip prevented him from pronouncing things well.

Oh, Steve, where do I even begin?

“We did it,” I said with a smile. “I’m so proud of you. You saved the day. You’re a reckless, self-sacrificing man who scared me to death, but you did it. Insight is down. We won.”

“Bucky!” Steve choked out and sputtered out bits of water that were still in his lungs.

“He saved you, Steve,” I whispered, trying and failing to push away the previous conversation from my head.

“Where is he?”

“He left. I’m sorry, Steve. I couldn’t stop him. You were hurt.” You were dying.

“Thank you, Portia,” Steve whispered. I smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Of course.”

I took in a shallow breath. They probably knew I found him – I just disappeared from the comms. There would be no other reason for me to have left. They were searching now. It wouldn’t take them long to find Steve.

I had to go.

“It’s time for me to go now,” I said. The air of finality was evident enough for Steve to pull on an alarmed expression despite his busted eye.

“Portia?” Steve was reaching out for me. I didn’t let him take my hand.

“I’ll tell the others you’re here. But I need to leave. It was an honor to fight by your side. I was right, you did do the right thing in the end. You always do.”

“Portia, I don’t understand.” He was trying to sit up again. I was backing away from him. He knew he wouldn’t be able to catch me.

“This has to be goodbye, Steve. I’m sorry.”

“Portia!”  _Cough_. “Don’t leave! You can’t leave.”

I sighed and looked away. There were tears in my eyes. “I have to.”

“Portia…” His voice was weaker now.

“My Captain.” I managed to give him a smile.

I portaled away. As I left, I heard my name on his lips one final time.

_Portia_.

* * *

 

 

A soldier, a wingman, and a dead man met each other again at an empty grave two weeks after the battle at the Triskelion.

“We’ve been data mining HYDRA’s files. Looks like a lot of rats didn’t go down with the ship,” revealed Nick Fury. “I think Portia Coo knew that. She was smart about it, got out while she still could.”

Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson only stared on as the former colonel continued. They didn’t let any emotion show.

“I’m heading to Europe tonight. Wanted to ask if you’d come.”

“There are a lot of things I got to do first,” Steve answered.

“How about you, Wilson?” Fury turned to Sam. “Could use a man with your abilities.”

Sam seemed to choose his words carefully “I’m more of a soldier than a spy.”

Fury nodded at that, not expecting any less. “Alright then. You going to look for your girl, Cap?”

“That’s the plan. I just need to figure out a good place to start.”

“Where were you thinking?”

“It might be a good time to go back to New York.” 

Fury shook his head. “You need to think a little farther than that.” The man reached into his jacket and pulled out a sizeable folder. He handed it to the Captain. “SHIELD did some things right. Not everything we had on her was on file. Plenty of it is found right here. Called in a few trusted men too. They say she’s been having business meetings in Hong Kong.”

Steve looked at the file, shock evident on his face. “Thank you for this, Nick. Really.”

“Consider it repayment for all the shit I put you through. Even with that, finding her won’t be easy. She knows how to hide.”

“I’ve got a few people I think I can call.”

“Good luck, Captain. She’s a good woman.”

Fury shook both of the men’s hands. “Anybody asks for me – tell them they can find me right here.” He gestured towards the grave. With that, the former director walked away.

“You should be honored. That’s about as close as he gets to saying thank you,” the redheaded spy spoke as she appeared behind them.

“Not going with him?” Steve questioned.

“Nope.” Natasha Romanoff shook her head.

“Not staying here?”

“I blew all my covers. I gotta go figure out a new one.”

“That might take a while.”

“I’m counting on it.”

Natasha handed Steve a file on James Buchanan Barnes.

“When you find Portia, don’t let her get away again. You’ve let it happen one too many times,” Natasha told the Captain sagely.

Steve smiled at her, looking tired. “Don’t I know it.”

“She’s powerful. I won’t deny that it would be a plus to have her around. But more importantly, she’s good. She was kind to me when she didn’t need to be. And she loves you, and you love her too. That’s why you have to get her back.”

“I will,” Steve said, determined.

“You will,” Natasha repeated. She bid him goodbye with a kiss on the cheek.

* * *

 

 

Steve Rogers thanked God for good friends.

Sam Wilson was one of them. He took Steve in during the days between the hospital and searching for Portia. He helped Steve book plane tickets to fly across the world. He listened to Steve on nights when being alone became too difficult. Sam understood the plight of a soldier, the betrayal of friendships, and heartbreak. Steve wondered what he had done to deserve a friend like him.

Susan Ching was another. Perhaps she wasn’t Steve’s good friend, more of Portia’s really, but she liked him well enough to help him out.

(Steve also thanked Circumstance for leaving Portia’s handiwork still up and running in Sam’s home. Her modified search engine was on another level. Steve used it to find Susan’s personal number. Sam was enjoying playing MMORPGs for free.)

“ _Wèi?_ ” answered Susan’s uncertain voice when she picked up after a few rings.

“Susan Ching? It’s Steve Rogers.”

A beat of silence.

And then, “Steve Rogers as in Captain America?”

“Steve Rogers as in Wendy’s first birthday party.”

“Aah,” was all she had to say at first. And then, “Why are you calling, Steve?”

“I’m looking for Portia. I’m heading to Hong Kong tonight. I need your help.”

“And why would I help you?”

“Because I’m in love with her.”

Another beat. And then, “Does she know that?”

“She will.”

Susan insists that Steve meet her in her office the moment he arrives in Hong Kong. She even opens a portal just for him the moment his foot touches the ground of the unloading bay. Shockingly, no one else seemed to notice the dazzling ring of light that led to another place. People walked passed him, lowly complaining about how he was in the way.

“Do they not see that?” Steve questioned the moment he stepped foot into Susan’s office. The portal whizzed closed behind him and the woman gives him an amused smile.

“More often than not, people only see what they want to see.”

“The first time I saw Portia I saw her use magic.”

“To be fair, she is the most magical person I have ever met. Come, sit. There’s tea.” The pair made themselves comfortable in the office’s sitting area. It overlooked the impressive Hong Kong skyline. It was just after lunch and the sun was bright in the sky. From this height, Steve’s sharp eyes could barely make out the people who walked the streets below.

“If you’re wondering – I didn’t do much of anything to deserve this office. I was just born into a family that happened to run an investment company. View’s great, though.”

Steve chuckled at that. “It’s something.”

Susan sipped her tea, seeming to contemplate how to word her next question.

“What do you know about her powers?”

Steve understood they were getting straight into business now. He steeled himself – he could tell Susan was testing him somehow. He wanted – no, needed – to prove his worth.

“Healing’s her main thing. She’s spectacular at it. She can also portals like you did. I’ve seen Jhem do some household chores and cooking with magic, and you and your friends showed me a bit at Wendy’s party.”

“Our magic is called the Mystic Arts,” Susan began. Steve was glad to finally receive some formal explanation to all of this. Portia was very private. Steve always did his best to respect it. She often answered vaguely when it came questions about her powers. A lot of what Steve knew came from observing her and the other magical people in her life. “It’s a very vast field. There are a number of things all of us can do: create portals, make weapons out of magic, and bend reality in one form or another. But healing is incredibly rare – almost unheard of. The way Portia does it is literally a miracle. The Mystic Arts is a game of give and take – like anything else in this world really. But Portia doesn’t need to follow those rules – nothing holds her back except for her own capabilities. My people call her Blessed. A power like that needs to be protected. Her family has died protecting that power. Many would kill for it. Revealing herself to you and your comrades put her life in danger. Even worse it put you, someone she cares deeply for, in danger as well. She’s led a very lonely life as one of the last of the Blessed. She’s prepared to sacrifice.”

Susan gave Steve a moment to let everything sink in before adding, “Personally, I don’t believe she has to sacrifice you.”

That made Steve breathe out a sigh of relief. “Many things are starting to come together and make sense. There’s a lot she didn’t tell me, but I would never blame her for that.”

“After hearing everything, what do you want to do?” Susan asked.

“Nothing’s changed. I need to find her.”

“You misunderstand. If you see her again, there is no goodbye. It would be your obligation to fight for her every day – no matter how difficult the circumstance may be. Because if you hold on to her now then let her go later, she would break. I would never forgive you for that. Are you prepared to fight for her?”

Steve stared into Susan’s eyes for a good, long while before speaking.

“I’m sure.”

“And Wendy,” Susan doesn’t miss a beat. “She’s everything to Portia. Her last blood family. Choosing Portia means choosing Wendy. Maybe one day, it would mean choosing Wendy over Portia.”

“Wendy is just as important to me as Portia.”

Something in Steve’s eyes must have told Susan something because she smiled.

“Then I’ll tell you where she is.”

* * *

 

 

“It’s a good hiding place.”

I spun around, and the sight that greeted me did not surprise me.

It was Steve, of course, clad in his favorite tan leather jacket and wearing an expression on his face that looked like relief. I wondered what the one on my face looked like.

I scrambled up from my seat and made my way towards him without really thinking about it. All I could really think about was the sting I could feel growing at the corners of my eyes. A part of me had been waiting for him all this time, but the rest of me cursed him for coming. I thought this over a million times already. It was best if he stayed away, for all of our sakes.

Maybe we never want what’s best for us.

“Steve, you shouldn’t be here.”  _But I’m so glad you are._

“I traveled half-way around the world, searching,” he said, a small and sad smile appearing on his lips. “I’m not turning back, not when I just found you.”

“After everything ─ Steve, it’s not safe for us to be together. You have to leave.” I said helplessly, desperate to make him understand. Desperate to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. But I looked at his eyes, the same eyes that glanced at me with hope and trust and lately, love. Now, those same eyes looked at me with determination. Steve Rogers was a man on a mission.

“If you didn’t heal me, Portia, I wouldn’t be alive.” This time, Steve stepped forward and grasped my arms in his hands. I immediately felt his warmth envelop the space around me. I wanted nothing more than to lean in and press my face against his chest. But I had to think of the consequences. If we have this moment and let it grow, we could lose everything.

“That’s not true, Steve.” I willed myself to step back, but instead, I found myself closer to him. When I imagined this happening, I thought it would be more push and pull. Instead, it was just a saga of me gravitating towards Steve, no matter where I turn. “You would have lived even if I didn’t help you.”

Steve shook his head. He looked at me, he never took his eyes off of me. It was as if he was memorizing my every feature. He was committing to memory every breath I took. “I don’t believe that for one second. I can’t live without you.”

I gasped at the admittance, and still, he didn’t release me from his gaze. His eyes, so blue and brutally honest, were telling me everything. I didn’t want to hear it, not when I could be so easily swayed. But to be together was to put everything we’ve ever loved in danger. I didn’t know what I was willing to risk. Steve seemed sure, as always. I wondered if he’d ever experienced doubt.

I couldn’t help myself. I cupped his face in my hands.

“I love you, you know. I’ve known it for some time now.”

Steve lifted his hands so they could rest against my wrists.

“I thought I was strong enough. I thought I could be by your side without putting either of us in danger. But then you got so hurt and I just snapped. I couldn’t bear to see you in pain. I did everything to make sure you were okay. And you are, and I’m so glad. But I realized some things. We can’t be together and stay alive. We’ll both end up dead if we let this go on. I’m sorry.”

This time, I was strong enough to push myself off him and step back. But he followed, matching my every step until we stood even closer.

“Please don’t walk away from me, Portia. I love you.”

My heart did some sort of twirl, and it was getting a little harder to breathe. Every breath I took was just filled with  _Steve_. It was heavenly, everything I’ve ever wanted. At the same time, I knew it was wrong. Being together could make everything more painful – and I couldn’t imagine anything worse than having him then losing him. I don’t think I could survive anything more.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Steve Rogers,” I declared. I was trembling. He dipped his head low so that our foreheads touched. I shut my eyes and allowed myself to savor it. Warmth. Steve was all warmth, and it was addicting. I had to get away from him.

But I couldn’t bear it.

“Then don’t leave me.” It was like he was pleading.

“I’m not strong enough.” I shook my head. Steve held me tighter. “If I love you, then lose you, I can’t be strong enough.”

“You won’t lose me.” Steve nudged my chin with his thumb, causing me to look straight into his eyes. Earnest. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

“I don’t know if I can─”

“You  _can_. We can do this together.” He sounded so convinced. 

“I’m afraid,” I admitted quietly, but standing this close together I was certain Steve could hear me. “All my life I’ve been hiding. And then you come along and you make me want to show the whole world what I can do. But what if that makes me lose Wendy? Or you? What if I lose myself?”

His arms were wrapped around my waist now. “I’d never let anything happen to you, or to Wendy. I’ll do anything to protect you.”  _‘The whole world will know who you are and what you can do and they will want you.’_ Bucky’s voice spoke in my head. _‘He can’t do a thing to protect you.’_

But maybe Bucky was wrong.

“I know,” This time, I allowed myself to lean against his chest. “But there are some things you can’t protect me from, Steve. For this to work, we have to trust each other.” I was already on the brink of giving in.

Steve smiled at me. “You’re the one person I trust completely.”

I couldn’t help but smile back. “I trust you.”

“We’ll make this work,” Steve said, already decided.

“We’ll make it work,” I agreed.

There was no preamble. No hesitation. Steve dipped his head once more and pressed his lips against mine. It wasn’t the first time we kissed, but this one was completely different. It signaled the beginning of something. It wasn’t hidden or shy or hesitant. It was making outright declarations. The waves crashed in the background. It was like I could taste the salty air on Steve’s lips. He was moving his lips against mine, so confident, so different from the slow and careful kisses from before. This was certain. This was a start.

When we broke apart, our foreheads were still together. I was taking slow and shallow breaths, and Steve looked just as out of breath as I was. This was new for both of us.

“My Captain,” I murmured, brushing the pad of my thumb against his brow. He smiled at me and seemed to lean into my touch.

Steve pressed a kiss to my forehead. We stood there together for I don’t know how long. Before I knew it, the sky was starting to dim. The water was starting to sparkle and I pulled Steve towards the railing.

“This is why I come here,” I told him and looked straight on to watch the sunset. The symphony of colors was unlike any other sight in the world. This part of Hong Kong has always been magical to me. It was a sight I hoped to pass down to Wendy. It’s a sight that I’m glad to share with Steve.

“It’s a good hiding place,” Steve repeated and I shot him a smile. As we continued to watch the sunset, I leaned my head against his shoulder, and his arm wrapped around my waist. I felt completely content.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bàba - father  
> Wèi - hello
> 
> that ends the Winter Soldier sequence! Next chapter (maybe two?) will be about events before Age of Ultron.


End file.
